


To The Moon and Back

by arbeana



Series: To The Moon and Back [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin Raise Harry Potter, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:20:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 18,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24594418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arbeana/pseuds/arbeana
Summary: This is 100% just a self-indulgent wrong number AU in which Sirius Black and Remus Lupin have raised a (mostly) well-adjusted Harry Potter
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Remus Lupin & Harry Potter, Sirius Black & Harry Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: To The Moon and Back [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2080392
Comments: 161
Kudos: 983
Collections: Series that I want to read once they are complete





	1. Unknown Number

**Saturday, Harry’s phone**

Group Chat: _DadsRUs_

Harry: good morning family!!!!!!

Papa: It is 2:30pm

Harry: what’s your point??

Papa: My point is it is 2:30pm

Dad: Don’t listen to him harry

Dad: he’s just mad we didn’t eat breakfast with him

Harry: but it’s breakfast time right now?

Papa: Again, it is 2:30pm

**4:30pm, Harry’s phone**

Unknown number: okay i wrote the introduction and pansy did the methods now all you have left is the discussion

Harry: ???

Unknown number: what do you mean ???

Harry: I mean ???

Unknown number: ???

Harry: Who are you?

Unknown number: ur chem partner?

Harry: I’m not even taking chem

Unknown number: fuck

Unknown number: then who’s my chem partner

  
  


**6:56pm, Harry’s phone**

Group Chat: _DadsRUs_

Harry: what’s for dinner

Harry: and when’s dinner

Papa: Twenty minutes or so

Harry: not to be overdramatic

Harry: but I’m dying of starvation

Papa: Okay so see, that was overdramatic

Dad: you’re dying of starvation? I’m literally holding my funeral right now

Dad: that’s how hungry I am

Papa: I see where you get it from now 

Harry: is anyone going to feed me or am i going to perish out here?

Dad: you’re going to perish

Papa: You’re going to perish

**2:13am, Harry’s phone**

Harry: find ur chem partner?

Unknown number: why are you texting me at 2 am?

Harry: why are you answering at 2am?

Unknown number: touché

Unknown number: yes I did

Unknown number: not that he was much help anyway

Harry: lmao

Harry: just remove his name from the paper right before you turn it in

Unknown number: that is so evil

Unknown number: im gonna do it

**Sunday, 9:08am, Remus’ phone**

Group Chat: _DadsRUs_

Remus: I’m grocery shopping

Remus: Do you guys want me to pick up anything?

Love: why

Love: why

Love: why are you grocery shopping at 9 am

Remus: Well no one in my house wakes up early enough to have breakfast with me, so I figured I could spend my alone time doing something productive

Love: it’s sunday

Love: the lord’s day

Love: sleep in

Remus: Can you wake up Harry and ask him what he wants?

Love: yea give me a minute

_5 minutes later_

Cub: diet pepsi and mentos please

Remus: ??? Absolutely not

Cub: Papa it’s important

Cub: it’s for science

Remus: What kind of science?

Cub: me and ron want to make an explosion science

Remus: Absolutely not

**12:04pm, Remus’ phone**

Remus: You up, love?

Love: Define “up”

Remus: Up (adj): awake and or out of bed

Love: I love when you talk grammar to me

Remus: shut up

Remus: Come lay on the couch with me

Love: You got out of bed at 8am on purpose, and now you want to lay around?

Remus: I miss you

Love: coming

**3:45pm, Harry’s phone**

Group chat: _Golden trio xxx_

Harry: remus wouldn’t buy pepsi and mentos :(

Hermione: Remus has a brain

Ron: I’ll ask Fred to get us some

Hermione: no!

Harry: yes!

Hermione: we have a history test tomorrow morning!

Ron: and???

Harry: your point???

Hermione: maybe you guys should spend the afternoon studying instead of making soda bottles explode?

Ron: I don’t need to study

Ron: I’m gonna cheat off you

[Hermione removed Ron from the chat]

[Harry added Ron to the chat]

Harry: meet by the river at 4:30?

Ron: right on

Hermione: Fine

**9:35pm, Remus’ phone**

Group chat: _DadsRUs_

Remus: Cubby

Cub: Pops

Remus: No

Cub: Papa

Remus: Yes

Remus: You need to go to bed at a reasonable time tonight

Remus: By 10, preferably

Cub: whaaaaaaaat

Remus: We have to leave for school at 5am

Cub: how about

Cub: you leave for school at 5

Cub: i spend the week with Dad

Love: Yes!

Remus: Sirius.

Love: No. 

Remus: Go up stairs and get ready for bed, we’ll come tuck you in

Cub: I’m not a baby

Cub: I don’t need to be tucked in

Remus: …

Cub: please come tuck me in

**Monday, 5:04am, Sirius’ phone**

Sirius: ready for school puppy?

Pup: ughughughughugggggggh

Sirius: that sounds like a resounding yes

Pup: ugh

Sirius: I’ll miss you Pup

Sirius: have a good week at school

Sirius: don’t get into any trouble

Sirius: or if you do, don’t get caught

Pup: I love you Dad

Pup: I’ll miss you too

Sirius: be still my beating heart

Pup: shut up

Sirius: I love you too Puppy

**7:32am, Sirius’ phone**

Sirius: You guys made it?

Babe: Yup

Babe: Harry slept the whole time

Sirius: Lmao I’m pretty sure he stayed up all night on his phone after we tucked him in

Babe: Oh, I know

Babe: I went to get water in the middle of the night and heard youtube videos coming from his room

Sirius: He’s not subtle

Babe: Not one bit

Babe: Gotta get ready for class now love

Babe: I’ll call you tonight

Sirius: I look forward to it

Babe: Pffft stop trying to be romantic

Sirius: I can’t help it, you bring out the best in me

Babe: Oh my

Babe: Bye

**9:53am, Harry’s phone**

Group chat: _Golden trio xxx_

Ron: that test

Ron: gave me a new asshole

Hermione: RON

Harry: HAHAHA RON

Harry: but same

Harry: considered just turning it in blank

Hermione: I told you guys to study!

Ron: And we told you

Ron: We wanted a volcano out of fizzing pepsi

Ron: We all have our priorities mione

Hermione: I’m surrounded by idiots

**11:18am, Harry’s phone**

Unknown number: i did it

Harry: ?

Unknown number: i took my partner’s name off the paper right before we turned it in

Harry: Oh

Harry: my god

Harry: I didn’t think you would actually do it

Unknown number: you told me to do it!

Harry: I was joking!

Unknown number: crap

Unknown number: im gonna look like a total ass now

Harry: I think you are a total ass now

Unknown number: it was your idea!

Harry: It was my joke!

Unknown number: i

Unknown number: hate you

Unknown number: i hope your day is going better than mine

Harry: oh it is not

Harry: just failed a history exam

Harry: and now im in study hall

Harry: with the most evil teacher on earth

Unknown number: the most evil teacher on earth???

Harry: Yeah

Harry: his name’s mr snape

Harry: he’s such a dick

Harry: i didn’t take chem this year so i wouldn’t have class with him and now i have study hall with him

Unknown number: Mr. Snape???

Unknown number: Do you go to Hogwarts Academy???

Harry: omg yeah

Harry: do you????

Unknown number: omg yeah

Harry: wait so you Have mr snape for chem

Harry: then you know what a jerk he is

Unknown number: ???

Unknown number: i like Mr. Snape

Unknown number: he’s actually my godfather

Harry: I--

Harry: Your GODFATHER?

Unknown number: yes?????

Harry: we can’t be friends anymore

Unknown number: we weren’t friends to begin with!

Harry: then why’d you ask me about my day?

Unknown number: I didn’t!

Harry: “I hope your day is going better than mine”

Unknown number: that’s not asking!

Harry: it basically is

Unknown number: you’re insufferable

Harry: actually, my name is Harry

Unknown number: and I care because?

Harry: what’s your name

Unknown number: we’re not friends anymore, remember?

_5 minutes later_

Unknown number: it’s Draco


	2. dragons are not cute

**Monday, 1:30pm, Harry’s phone**

Harry: okay so i’ve been thinking

Ron: Since when?

Harry: anYway

Harry: I have been thinking

Harry: about pranking a teacher

Ron: you don’t have to say a teacher

Ron: you can just say Snape

Harry: here’s what im thinking

Harry: he always leaves his coffee cup on his desk and we always get to study hall before him

Ron: Omg

Ron: You want to POISON him???

Harry: no!!!

Harry: we can get some food dye

Harry: and pour it in his coffee tomorrow

Harry: and he’ll walk around with rainbow teeth for the day

Ron: Oooooh okay

Ron: I’m totally in

Harry: yayayay

Harry: let’s go to the convenience store after school

Ron: One more thing

Ron: Is there a reason we’re not texting Hermione about this?

Harry: you know mione

Harry: if a teacher asks her a question, she can’t tell a lie

Ron: oh u right

**4:07pm, Harry’s phone**

Harry: Is snape actually your godfather?

Draco: lmao

Draco: yes

Draco: him and my parents have been friends since they went to hogwarts 

Harry: that’s so jacked

Draco: jacked?

Harry: yeah jacked up

Draco: sure

Draco: why do you hate Severus?

Harry: omg please do Not call him severus

Harry: I hate him cause he’s a jerk

Draco: he’s never been a jerk to me?

Harry: well you’re his godson

Harry: he’s hated me my whole life

Draco: what?? Why??

Harry: apparently he knew my parents too

Harry: and they were Not friends

Draco: wow so this is kinda like a forbidden relationship

Harry: Oh so this morning we weren’t friends but now we’re in a relationship?

Draco: that’s not what i meant

Harry: are we Romeo and Juliet?

Draco: absolutely not what i meant

Harry: are you gonna stand under my dorm window and throw stones till I come out?

Draco: no!!

Harry: do you want me to come to your window and throw stones?

Draco: im blocking you

**4:12pm, Harry’s phone**

Harry: Dad

Dad: Pup

Harry: Will you ever call me by my name

Dad: at this point I don’t even remember your name

Harry: hlkasdf

Harry: do you know someone named Draco?

Dad: Draco?

Dad: I mean it sounds familiar but I’m not sure

Harry: what do you mean it sounds familiar?

Dad: Draco is a constellation and a lot of people in my family are named after stars and stuff like that you know

Dad: it’s the dragon constellation I think

Harry: omg a dragon

Harry: that’s so cute

Dad: cute???

Harry: i meant cool

Dad: do you know someone named Draco?

Dad: Do you think they’re cute?

Harry: lmao dad that is not the point

Dad: Because you’re too young to date you know

Harry: Dadddd

Harry: I’m 16

Dad: yeah and that is at least 20 years too young to date

Harry: I’m hanging up the phone now

Dad: you can’t hang up a text conversation!

Harry: I can’t hear you, I’ve already hung up

**4:26pm, Harry’s phone**

Group chat:  _ Golden trio xxx _

Harry: mione pick a favorite color

Hermione: ?

Ron: Pick pick pick

Hermione: Um, maybe purple?

Harry: no wrong choice

Hermione: ?

Ron: Yeah there’s no purple sorry

Hermione: There’s no purple where?

Harry: oh Wait we can do red and blue!

Harry: thank you Hermy!

Hermione: First of all, do not call me ‘Hermy’

Hermione: Second of all, is anyone going to tell me what’s going on?

Harry: No

Ron: Wasn’t planning on it

**4:54pm, Sirius’ phone**

Sirius: Do you know someone named Draco?

Babe: What?

Sirius: do you know someone named Draco?

Babe: I have a student named Draco, why?

Sirius: today Harry asked me if I knew someone named Draco, then said the name Draco was cute, then got flustered

Sirius: I think he has a crush on someone named Draco

Babe: Oh my

Sirius: ?

Babe: Promise you won’t freak out

Sirius: Why would I freak out?

Babe: If it’s a crush it might not mean anything, and it might not be a crush at all

Sirius: ?

Sirius: you’re not making sense

Babe: The only student I have named Draco is Draco Malfoy

Sirius: WHAT

Sirius: HKLSJDF WHAT

Babe: I said don’t freak out

Sirius: I’m calling Harry!!!

Babe: No!

Babe: Don’t you dare!

Babe: Leave Harry alone, your vendetta against the Malfoys has nothing to do with him

Sirius: My son

Sirius: My sweet innocent baby boy

Sirius: Can’t date a MALFOY

Babe: He’s not dating Draco!

Babe: You don’t even know that he has a crush!

Babe: You’re probably just reading too much into it

Sirius: Ugh

Sirius: Fine

Sirius: But if he mentions that Draco boy one more time, I swear--

Babe: I’m married to a madman.

**10:41pm, Harry’s phone**

Harry: Were you named after the dragon constellation?

Draco: omg yeah

Draco: how did you know that

Harry: omg that’s so cute

Draco: ?? that is not cute

Draco: dragons are edgy

Harry: no I’m pretty sure they’re cute

Draco: what are you named after then?

Harry: Um

Harry: I don’t think I’m named after anything

Harry: my middle name is my father’s name though

Draco: Remus?

Harry: no my biological father, James

Harry: wait

Harry: how did you know my dad’s name is Remus?

Draco: um

Draco: that’s not important

Harry: omg

Harry: have you been Asking people about me?

Draco: why does it matter

Harry: Why have you been asking?

Draco: i was curious okay

Draco: i just wanted to make sure the weirdo texting me wasn’t a murderer or something

Harry: lmao sure

Draco: so you’ve got two dads then?

Harry: yeah, Remus and Sirius

Draco: ?

Draco: what happened to James?

Harry: James was my biological dad

Harry: him and my biological mom died when I was a baby, and Remus and Sirius adopted me

Draco: oh my god

Draco: im so sorry i didn’t realize

Harry: Haha no it’s okay

Harry: I don’t remember my biological parents at all

Harry: I mean like, I have pictures of them

Harry: but Remus and Sirius are my real parents 

Draco: i am sorry, you don’t have to explain it to me if you don’t want to talk about it

Harry: no it’s really not a big deal

Harry: i’m gonna get ready for bed now

Harry: I’ll talk to you later

**2:03am, Harry’s phone**

Harry: Papa?

Papa: Harry honey, why are you up?

Harry: why are you up?

Papa: Your text woke me

Harry: what?? why isn’t your phone on silent?

Papa: I keep it on at night in case you need me

Papa: What’s up Cub?

Harry: do you miss James and Lily?

_ 2 minutes later _

Papa: Of course I do

Papa: What’s this about?

Harry: It’s just that

Harry: I know dad misses them because he always talks about them, but you don’t usually say anything

Papa: I just don’t like talking about that sort of thing

Harry: oh im sorry

Papa: No, that’s not what I meant

Papa: I don’t usually talk about it, but we can of course talk about it if you want

Harry: it’s just that

Harry: I don’t miss them

Papa: Yeah?

Harry: I like the pictures that you guys have given me and the stories you tell

Harry: but when I think about them I don’t think of them as my parents

Harry: and I don’t miss them

Papa: Well, that makes sense Cubby

Harry: it does?

Papa: You were just a baby when they passed away, you don’t even remember them

Papa: Of course you wouldn’t miss them

Harry: But Dad is always saying that he wishes that they were still here and that they could see me and stuff like that

Harry: but I just feel like

Harry: I wouldn’t want any parents except you and Dad

Papa: James and Lily were our best friends, so Sirius and I of course wish that they were still here

Papa: But we would never want to give you up as a son either

Papa: Just because Sirius misses James doesn’t mean he doesn’t want you

Harry: I know

Harry: I guess I just feel bad that I don’t want James and Lily

Papa: I’m sure if James and Lily had lived you would still feel like you didn’t want any other parents

Papa: Your feelings are nothing to feel guilty over, Cub

Harry: I guess

Papa: Go to sleep now, okay?

Harry: okay Papa

Harry: love you

Papa: To the moon and back, Harry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why this chapter suddenly included emotions. Did not mean to do that.


	3. purple people eater

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't realize that I didn't have to title these chapters so I've been titling them at random and now that I've started I won't stop

**Tuesday, 7:41am, Sirius’ phone**

Sirius: I love you Puppy

Pup: aslkdf Dad

Sirius: I’m sorry, that didn’t sound like “i love you too dad”

Pup: I love you too Dad

Sirius: Just checking

Pup: did Papa talk to you?

Sirius: Yeah

Sirius: did you want to talk about it?

Pup: not really

Sirius that’s okay

Sirius: I love you Puppy

Sirius: have a good day at school

Pup: slkdjhf have a good day at work Dad

**9:57am, Harry’s phone**

Group chat:  _ study hall hell _

Lavender: Harry what did you just put in snape’s cup

Harry: don’t worry about it

Parvati: omg

Parvati: are you trying to poison him?

Harry: oh my god why does everyone think i want to poison people

Seamus: I wouldn’t blame you m8

Dean: I would help

Harry: no one’s getting poisoned!

Ron: Today

_ 20 minutes later _

Harry: Look look look look

Dean: Oh

Dean: My god

Ron: I can’t look I’m gonna start laughing

Neville: why is snape’s mouth turning purple?

Parvati: harry put something in his cup before you got to class

Neville: Harry it’s not poisonous is it?

Harry: are u kidding

Harry: i wouldn’t try to poison someone!

Seamus: guys I can’t hold it together

Seamus: I have to leave before I start choking from laughing

Lavender: How are you gonna ask Snape to leave without laughing?

Seamus: I can’t

Seamus: I’m just gonna go

Neville: you’ll get detention!

Ron: Save yourself man

Parvati: oh my god

Parvati: his teeth are like fluorescent purple

Lavender: How is that even Possible

Harry: i think we killed dean

Harry: he hasn’t moved his head off his desk but his shoulders are shaking so hard

Harry: oh bye Seamus

Ron: Oh Snape’s pissed now

Neville: he actually looks a lot less threatening with purple lips 

Lavender: It looks like he just finished a popsicle 

Dean: Okay okay i’m back

Dean: I can breath again i’m sorry

Dean: where’s Seamus and snape?

Ron: Seamus made a break for it

Parvati: snape followed him 

Lavender: He was beyond mad that someone would leave his study hall without permission

Neville: you know if they pass the windows down the hall snape will probably see what he looks like

Harry: fuck

Harry: i was hoping he wouldn’t realize until we got out of class

Ron: What’s the big deal

Ron: He won’t know you did it

Lavender: Harry’s fingers are stained purple you idiot

Ron: Oh that is a big deal

**1:49pm, Harry’s phone**

Draco: guess what i just heard

Harry: um

Harry: jolene by Dolly parton

Harry: a beautiful rendition of the national anthem

Harry: the bell letting us out of class

Draco: be serious

Harry: that’s my dad

Draco: why do i even bother talking to you?

Harry: cause the only thing prettier than my face is my wonderful personality?

Draco: anyway

Draco: i heard that some idiot in snape’s third period study hall put food dye in his drink

Draco: to stain his mouth purple for the day

Harry: that’s interesting

Harry: i didn’t hear that

Draco: i also heard that the idiot was you

Harry: what can i say

Harry: i’m a man of many talents

Draco: poisoning people is a talent?

Harry: Oh my god why does everyone in this school think i would murder snape

Draco: “i hate him” “he’s a jerk”

Harry: that doesn’t mean i would murder him!

Draco: sureee

Harry: i give up

_ 20 minutes later _

Draco: hey to be serious though

Harry: aren’t you in class?

Draco: aren’t you in class?

Harry: no comment

Draco: anyway, to be serious for a second

Draco: i am sorry for what i said last night

Draco: i didn’t mean to upset you

Harry: ???

Draco: last night

Harry: what did you say last night?

Draco: about your parents?

Harry: oh

Harry: i meant what i said

Harry: it’s all right 

Draco: i just didn’t mean to make you talk about something that made you uncomfortable

Draco: i wouldn’t have said anything if i had known

Harry: you didn’t do anything wrong

Harry: really

Draco: you sure?

Harry: yeah

Draco: cross your heart and hope to die?

Harry: Die?

Draco: oh fuck

Draco: oh my god im so sorry i was just trying to make a joke

Draco: i wasn’t thinking

Harry: asdfkjlk;

Harry: I promise i’m not upset

Harry: Cross my heart and hope to die

**3:55pm, Sirius’ phone**

Group chat:  _ DadsRUs _

Sirius: Harry

Sirius: James

Sirius: Potter

Pup: i can explain

Sirius: I just got a call from the headmaster

Pup: i'm sorry

Sirius: And I have NEVER

Sirius: Been so proud of you

Pup: aaaaaahaha what

Babe: Sirius!

Sirius: When you get home this weekend I’m buying you a car

Pup: FOR REAL?

Babe: NO!

Babe: When you get home you’re grounded for the weekend!

Pup: Papaaaaa no

Babe: Harry you can’t go around dropping things in people’s drinks!

Sirius: I think he can drop things in snivellus’ drinks

Babe: Sirius shut up

Pup: no Dad keep talking

Babe: Harry James

Babe: Imagine if Mr. Snape had been allergic to food dye

Babe: Or if he wanted to sue you for messing with his food!

Pup: okayyy Papa i get it

Babe: What you did was so incredibly reckless

Babe: You’re lucky you didn’t get into more trouble

Pup: there’s more trouble than two weeks of detention??

Sirius: Two weeks??

Sirius: That seems excessive

Babe: Sirius. 

Sirius: Okay I am shutting up

**4:23pm, Harry’s phone**

Group chat:  _ Golden trio xxx _

Harry: do you guys wanna hang tonight

Hermione: Aren’t you supposed to be in detention right now?

Harry: was that a yes or a no

Hermione: How are you texting us?

Harry: good old binns forgot to take away my phone

Harry: also i think he’s asleep at his desk

Ron: Or maybe he’s finally gone and kicked the bucket

Hermione: Ron!

Hermione: That’s not very nice

Ron: I’m not very nice Hermy

Hermione: I swear

Hermione: The next time one of you calls me ‘Hermy’ I’m removing myself from the chat

Harry: Hermy

Ron: Hermy

[Hermione removed herself from the chat]

[Harry added Hermione to the chat]

Harry: I get out of detention at 5

Harry: let’s go hang out by the river

Hermione: And do what?

Harry: just generally act foolish

Ron: We could skinny dip

Harry: or harass geese!

Hermione: I’m not sure

Hermione: I have a lot of work to get done tonight

Harry: come onnnn mione

Harry: one hour by the river

Ron: Yeah and then we can all go back to the common room and work on homework like good boys and girls

Hermione: Fine

Hermione: But you’re not copying off me when we get back to the common room Ron

Ron: Well then nevermind

Ron: I will not be doing my homework

[Hermione removed Ron from the chat]

**5:48pm, Harry’s phone**

Draco: how was detention?

Harry: wonderful

Harry: binns took a nap, i played on my phone

Draco: so what you’re saying is

Draco: you didn’t learn your lesson

Harry: no i definitely learned my lesson

Harry: next time i’ll wash my hands after i play with food dye

Draco: youre impossible

Draco: what are you doing now

Harry: i’m at the river with Ron and Hermione

Draco: who??

Harry: my best friends

Draco: what kind of name is hermione?

Harry: omg you’re one to talk

Harry: what kind of name is draco?

Harry: you sound like the henchman of a cheesy super villain

Harry: Hermione is a great name

Draco: omg okay i get it ur defensive

Harry: yeah i am

_ 3 minutes later _

Draco: so do you not think my name is cute anymore?

Harry: no it’s still cute

Harry: you sound like the cute henchman of a cheesy super villain

Draco: :|

**8:09pm, Sirius’ phone**

Sirius: i love you

Babe Pfffft

Babe: Don’t try that on me, I’m still mad at you

Sirius: What if i said i bought you chocolates

Babe: I don’t give in to bribery

Babe: it’s not bribery

Sirius: it’s chocolate

Babe: I don’t give in to that either

Sirius: Come on love

Sirius: what Harry did to snivellus was funny

Babe: Don’t call him snivellus

Babe: And it wasn’t funny, it was rude

Babe: Lily would be so upset with you

Sirius: Hey hey hey

Sirius: pulling the dead friend card is low

Babe: Well you don’t listen when I pull the living husband card

_ 10 minutes later _

Sirius: Do you think I talk about James and Lily too much?

Babe: What?

Babe: Is this because of what Harry said?

Sirius: Well

Sirius: yeah

Sirius: i don’t want him to think I regret being his dad or something

Babe: Harry doesn’t think that

Babe: Harry knows we both love him

Babe: Especially you, since you’ve never said no to him in his entire life

Sirius: he’s never done anything wrong in his life!

Babe: What part of poisoning a teacher do you not understand

Sirius: snivellus hardly counts as a teacher

Sirius: a tyrant maybe

Sirius: a terror to children everywhere, definitely

Babe: I’m not even going to dignify you with a response.

**10:45pm, Harry’s phone**

Harry: what about your parents

Draco: ???

Harry: i told you all about my parents and my little tragic backstory

Harry: now it’s your turn

Draco: lmao

Draco: there’s nothing to tell really

Draco: my mom’s narcissa and my dad’s lucius 

Draco: they birthed me and raised me

Draco: now im here

Harry: Narcissa? like narcissist?

Draco: narcissa like the flower

Harry: Oh that’s a shame

Draco: ?

Harry: narcissa like narcissist would explain your personality

Draco: okay that’s it

Draco: im blocking you for the night since you wanna be rude 

Harry: lmao no i’m sorry i’m sorry

Harry: Okay so your parents are narcissist and lucious

Draco: no they are not

Harry: now what’s your tragic backstory?

Draco: lmao

Draco: i don’t have a tragic backstory

Harry: everyone has one

Draco: that’s not true

Draco: i am very rich and very pretty

Draco: nothing bad has ever happened to me

Harry: Lmao you’re very pretty?

Draco: yes

Harry: Can i see a pic?

Draco: ??

Harry: of your face

Harry: to confirm if you’re very pretty

Draco: oh

Draco: sure

[Draco sent a picture]

Harry: you are very pretty

_ 6 minutes later _

Draco: yeah well let’s see your face then

[Harry sent a picture]

Draco: you’re alright

Harry: I’m just alright?

Draco: yeah

Draco: i’ve seen better

Harry: I think you don’t want to admit that i’m pretty

Draco: well i think you’re full of yourself

Harry: what can i say, i’m a narcissa

Draco: good bye


	4. bad girls club

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally a chapter from draco's pov

**Tuesday, 11:02pm, Draco’s phone**

Group chat: _bad girls club_

Draco: he called me pretty

Blaise: i’m sorry

Blaise: who?

Draco: harry called me pretty

Pansy: ? ? 

Blaise: who the fuck is harry

Draco: oh my god

Draco: harry potter

Pansy: omg what

Pansy: why are you talking to harry potter

Draco: i told you guys i was talking to harry potter!

Pansy: no you did not

Blaise: yeah pretty sure you didn’t

Draco: omg yes i swear i did

_3 minutes later_

Draco: ok so i’ve scrolled through the group chat

Draco: and no i did not

Pansy: pansy never lies

Draco: but that’s not the point

Draco: the point is i’m talking to harry potter

Blaise: are we just gonna ignore pansy talking in the third person

Draco: and harry potter called me pretty

Pansy: draco you call urself pretty every other day

Pansy: so what’s the big deal

Draco: the big deal is 

Draco: HARRY called me pretty

Pansy: since when do u even talk to harry potter

Blaise: pansy let me handle this 

Blaise: draco clearly youre going through some gay panic

Draco: gay panic?

Blaise: so here’s what you need to do

Draco: is that a thing?

Pansy: if blaise says it is i believe it

Blaise: just text harry back

Draco: right

Blaise: and be like “hey”

Draco: hey

Blaise: “i want to suck your dick”

Draco: OMG NO

Blaise: you can say “ur dick” if it makes you feel less nervous

Draco: i am not saying ANYTHING

Draco: about ANYONES dick

Pansy: aw why

Blaise: why not

Draco: youve both actually lost it

Blaise: he called you pretty

Blaise: which means he wants to suck your dick

Pansy: yeah blaise’s right

Pansy: so now u should reciprocate

Pansy: by saying you want to suck his

Draco: again, you’ve lost it

Draco: next time i want advice i’ll go to crabbe and goyle

Pansy: i don’t think crabbe and goyle could win the heart of a rock

Pansy: they’ve got no chance with harry potter

Draco: at least they’d be subtle!

Blaise: are we talking about the same crabbe and goyle??

Draco: good

Draco: night

**Wednesday, 7:55am, Draco’s phone**

Mom: Good morning sweetheart!!!

Mom: Have a wonderful day at school sweet boy

Mom: I love you so much

Draco: mother

Draco: i love you too

Draco: but you don’t need to text me to have a wonderful day every single morning

Mom: If I don’t tell you every morning you might forget

Draco: akl;sdfj

Draco: i promise i wont forget

Mom: Well

Mom: I’ll keep telling you anyway

Mom: Just in case

Draco: okay mom

**10:14am, Draco’s phone**

Draco: how’s study hall with snape now

Harry: I have never

Harry: seen a man look so murderous

Draco: lmao

Harry: he’s just glaring at me from across the room

Harry: which is normal for him

Harry: but he doesn’t usually do it for 20 minutes straight

Draco: he probably thinks you’re gonna try to poison him again

Harry: you’re never gonna let it go are you

Draco: he’s my godfather

Harry: don’t remind me

Draco: i have to be loyal

Harry: what about being loyal to Me?

Draco: maybe once you’ve earned it

Harry: haha okay

Harry: how do i earn it

Draco: i haven’t decided yet

**10:24am, Draco’s phone**

Pansy: u know this is math class right

Pansy: not social hour

Draco: i’m doing math

Pansy: youre texting

Pansy: i saw you smirking at ur phone

Draco: first of all

Draco: i don’t smirk

Draco: second of all

Draco: no you didn’t

Pansy: call it what you want

Pansy: i saw it

Pansy: are you texting Harry again

Draco: is that important

Pansy: why don’t you just ask him to hang out or something

Pansy: since ur so obsessed with him

Draco: i am not obsessed!

Pansy: ur risking detention with mcgonagall just to talk to him

Pansy: ur obsessed

Draco: well you’re risking detention with mcgonagall just to talk to me

Pansy: im not risking anything

Pansy: mcgonagall likes me

Draco: ughhhhhhh

Pansy: ur mad cause im right

Draco: whatever

**10:36am, Draco’s phone**

Draco: what are you doing after classes today

Harry: detention remember

Draco: oh yea

Draco: i forgot

_6 minutes later_

Harry: Hey i was wondering

Draco: ?

Harry: Do you wanna hang out

Harry: like get lunch together today or something

Harry: you can help me plan my next prank on snape

Draco: i will not help with that

Draco: but yeah i can get lunch

Harry: okay cool

Draco: okay cool

Harry: let’s meet by the main staircase at 12 okay?

Draco: okay

**12:04pm, Harry’s phone**

Group chat: _Golden trio xxx_

Ron: Hermione where are you

Hermione: I’m on my way, I was talking to a teacher

Ron: Let it be known

Ron: Harry James Potter Lupin

Ron: Is dead to me

Hermione: What???

Hermione: What’s going on?

Ron: Harry’s eating lunch with somebody else!!

Hermione: Oh for goodness sake

Hermione: I thought something was actually wrong Ronald

Ron: Something is actually wrong!!!

Ron: Harry has forsaken us

Ron: For some rando blond guy 

Ron: And his nice cheekbones

Hermione: What do nice cheekbones have to do with this?

Ron: When i asked Harry why he would commit this treachery against us

Ron: He said

Ron: uuuuh I don’t know he’s got nice cheekbones

Hermione: Awwwww Harry has a crush

Ron: Harry has no consideration for his friends is what he has

Hermione: He’s allowed to have other friends Ron

Ron: Yeah he is

Ron: As long as I’m the most important friend

Hermione: I want you to know that I’m rolling my eyes

**12:24pm, Draco’s phone**

Group chat: _bad girls club_

Blaise: i didn’t realize lunch came with a show today

Pansy: why are you texting me

Pansy: im sitting next to you

Blaise: i want draco to see these messages when he finally remembers we exist

Pansy: aaaaahaha

Pansy: have you ever seen draco so nervous 

Pansy: i’m scared he’s gonna wet himself

Blaise: harry is so calm cool and collected

Blaise: and draco looks like he painted his face red

Pansy: or like he’s slowly transforming into a tomato

Blaise: i wonder what they’re talking about

Pansy: i think draco is too busy drooling to talk

Blaise: lmaoo then i wonder what he’s thinking

Pansy: probably something like

Pansy: “oh harry potter you are so handsome”

Blaise: “harry you are so athletic and tall and funny”

Pansy: “oh harry potter wont you ask for my hand in marriage”

Blaise: “dear harry potter won’t you run away with me and elope and start a new life in the country”

Pansy: “darling harry potter your eyes are the most lovely shade of green”

Blaise: “mr harry potter sir i’m begging you to start a family with me”

Pansy: AAAHAHAHA not sir!!!

Blaise: i said what i said

Blaise: i feel like draco’s the type to call his boyfriend sir

Pansy: if draco is the type

Pansy: im gonna start pretending i dont know him

Blaise: look look look

Pansy: oh draco honey what are you doing

Blaise: draco you idiot

Blaise: harry was clearly trying to go in for the hand hold

Blaise: why did you move away

Pansy: draco can’t fend for himself out here

Pansy: he doesn’t understand basic social cues

Blaise: or basic flirting

Blaise: this is why he should’ve listened when i told him to just suck harry’s dick

_25 minutes later_

Draco: you guys are both bullies

Pansy: yes

Blaise: yes we are


	5. bad advice

**Wednesday, 3:53pm, Harry’s phone**

Group chat:  _ DadsRUs _

Harry: question

Harry: am i Actually grounded this weekend

Dad: wellllll

Papa: Yes.

Dad: yes

Harry: okay but hear me out

Harry: i have learned my lesson

Papa: No you haven’t

Papa: It’s been one day, and I know Mr. Binns lets students keep their phones in detention

Harry: okay but hear me out again

Harry: i have a social life to maintain

Dad: I think he’s got a point there

Papa: Harry, you only hang out with Ron and Hermione

Harry: that’s not true!

Harry: sometimes I hang out with Ron’s brothers

Harry: i can’t spend the weekend away from the Weasleys, they’d go crazy without me

Papa: That is a good point

Dad: it is?

Harry: wait seriously?

Papa: You can hang out at the Weasley’s house this weekend under one condition

Harry: omg yes anything

Papa: You only spend time with Percy.

Harry: :|

Dad: LMAO

Harry: that was so rude Papa

Harry: you got my hopes up for nothing :(

Papa: Do you know what else is rude, Harry?

Harry: don’t say it

Harry: i am not listening

Papa: Poisoning.

Harry: i cannot hear you

Papa: Teachers. 

Harry: i no longer have ears

**4:38pm, Harry’s phone**

Harry: thanks for getting lunch with me today

Draco: lmao it was no big deal

Harry: i liked hanging out with you

Draco: yeah i guess you’re pretty okay too

Harry: very funny

Harry: Unfortunately we can never get lunch together again

Draco: what why?

[Harry sent a screenshot]

Harry: Ron would have a heart attack

Draco: wow

Draco: he’s clingy

Harry: askldf

Harry: well he is my soulmate

Draco: what???

Harry: what

Draco: what do you mean he’s your soulmate??

Draco: you’re dating ron weasley???

Harry: pfffffft no

Harry: i meant like he’s my best friend soulmate 

Harry: you know like we’re meant to be together as best friends

Draco: no i don’t know

Draco: who says stuff like that

Harry: i do!

Draco: well it’s weird

Harry: it’s cute

Harry: why does it bother you if i’ve got a soulmate anyway

Draco: it doesn’t bother me

Harry: well it sounded like it bothered you

Draco: well it didn’t

Harry: are you jealous that someone else is my soulmate instead of you?

Draco: aren’t they supposed to confiscate phones in detention?

**5:30pm, Remus’ phone**

Group chat:  _ DadsRUs _

Remus: Cubby

Cub: that’s me

Remus: Do you want to get dinner with me tonight?

Cub: omg yes!

Cub: i’ll come to your office at 6

Love: That’s not fair

Remus: ? 

Love: you guys are rubbing it in my face that I can’t come to dinner too

Cub: lmao Dad

Remus: Pffft Sirius don’t be dramatic

Love: Why do we live so far away from Hogwarts anyway

Remus: Because your bike shop is so far away from Hogwarts

Remus: Either Harry and I drive two hours once a week to go to school or you drive two hours every day to go to work

Cub: awww is daddy getting lonelyyy

Love: I miss my husband :(

Cub: hey!

Love: And my son

Cub: good

Remus: You talk to us every day

Remus: And you facetime me every night

Love: i’m bored

Love: I can only throw so many house parties

Remus: You do not

Cub: Lmao dad are you really throwing house parties??

Remus: No he is not

Love: Yes I am

Love: I invite Neville’s grandmother every time

Love: She really knows how to throw it back

Cub: HAHAHAHA please never say throw it back again

Remus: What does ‘throw it back’ mean?

Love: I’m actually not sure

Cub: you don’t want to know

**5:59pm, Harry’s phone**

Group chat:  _ Golden trio xxx _

Ron: Harry where are you

Harry: i’m getting dinner with my dad tonight, sorry

Hermione: Awww that’s cute

Ron: First that draco boy

Ron: Now Mr Lupin

Hermione: Ignore Ron, have fun with your dad

Ron: what betrayal is next

Harry: wellll

Ron: What?

Harry: i’m grounded this weekend so i can’t hang out at all

[Ron removed himself from the chat]

Harry: lmao what a drama queen

Hermione: Lol

Hermione: He’s never done that before

Hermione: You’ve really broken his heart Harry

Harry: console him for me, will you?

Hermione: Can do

**8:48pm, Draco’s phone**

Group chat:  _ bad girls club _

Pansy: so when’s the next date with potter

Blaise: forget the next date

Blaise: whens the wedding

Blaise: and what should i wear

Draco: first of all

Draco: there hasn’t even been a date yet

Pansy: fiRsT oF aLL

Pansy: getting lunch counts as a date

Pansy: even if u were a mess

Blaise: and even if the great hall is a tacky place for a first date

Draco: omg it was not a date

Draco: i get lunch with people all the time

Blaise: he tried to hold your hand

Draco: he was reaching for the salt

Pansy: he was definitely reaching for ur hand

Blaise: and when you moved your hand he went for the salt to avoid being awkward

Blaise: it’s the oldest trick in the book

Draco: the book??

Blaise: the dating book

Blaise: which you have clearly never read

Draco: that’s not a book

Pansy: no it’s a book ive read it

Blaise: i’ve read it twice

Draco: :|

Blaise: and since you havent read it you have to do what we said to get harry as a boyfriend

Draco: who said i want harry as a boyfriend

Pansy: u dont have to say it

Pansy: the firetruck color ur face turned when he was talking to u said it all for u

Draco: i want new friends

Pansy: too bad

Blaise: text harry

Blaise: and be like

Blaise: “hey big boy”

Draco: BIG BOY???

Pansy: not big boy!!!

Blaise: “what are you doing this weekend”

Draco: you’re mad

Blaise: “and do you want it to be me”

Draco: you’re ACTUALLY mad

Pansy: hahahaha no he’s just bold

Blaise: okay don’t say that

Blaise: just say

Blaise: “do you have any plans for the weekend”

Pansy: yea and then make plans to hang out again

Pansy: it doesnt have to be a date

Pansy: even though it will be a date

Draco: i’m not doing this

Pansy: do it!!!

Blaise: do it

Pansy: dont u want to hang out with harry again?

Draco: ugh ugh

Draco: fine i’ll text him

Pansy: yayyyyyy

_ 7 minutes later _

Blaise: we meant text him Now draco

Draco: ugh fine!

**9:05pm, Draco’s phone**

Draco: i liked getting lunch with you today too

Harry: Awwww the little dragon admits it

Draco: i regret telling you what my name means

Harry: too bad dragon

Harry: there are no take backs in life

Draco: :/ 

Draco: anyway

Draco: do you have any plans for the weekend yet

Harry: yeah tragically

Draco: tragically?

Harry: i’m grounded

Draco: oooh i see

Harry: yeah

Harry: i don’t know what it entails but i assume i’m booked for the weekend

Draco: lmao

Draco: you don’t know what grounding entails?

Harry: yeah i’ve never been grounded before

Draco: what??

Draco: how have you never been grounded before?

Harry: ??

Harry: have you Been grounded before?

Draco: yes of course

Harry: omg

Draco: who hasn’t

Harry: what have you been doing to get into trouble

Draco: i don’t get into trouble

Harry: okay then what have you done to get grounded

Draco: mostly i get grounded for “““being rude””” to “““dinner guests”””

Draco: or “““disrespecting””” my “““father”””

Draco: and i’ve snuck out to parties with blaise and pansy a few times

Harry: omg

Harry: Draco Malfoy

Harry: the king of teenage rebellion

Draco: aslkjdf;lkajs

Harry: why are you disrespecting your father

Draco: idk

Draco: he’s just kind of a jerk

Harry: like how?

Draco: idk

Draco: like he just cares more about making money and keeping up appearances than anything else

Harry: oh man i’m sorry

Draco: it’s nothing

Draco: he’s always been like that

Draco: so how come you’ve never been grounded

Draco: have you never engaged in teenage rebellion?

Harry: well i wouldn’t call it teenage rebellion but i’ve done some stuff

Harry: one time me and ron tried to ride one of my dad’s motorcycles when he wasn’t looking

Harry: and we rode it right into a tree

Draco: omg WHAT

Harry: i mean we didn’t get hurt or anything

Harry: well the motorcycle got hurt

Harry: but not us

Draco: i repeat

Draco: WHAT

Harry: i’ve gotten detention a bunch of times for hanging out in the girls’ bathroom

Draco: ???

Harry: ummm one time ron’s brothers stole his dad’s car and drove me to their house in the middle of the night

Harry: and one time my dads let me take the train back to Hogwarts and i ended up missing the train

Draco: i have so many fucking questions

Draco: but my main question is

Draco: how have you Never been grounded????

Harry: Lmao well my dad Sirius is a pushover

Harry: whenever he catches me doing something wrong he just laughs and says he won’t tell Remus

Harry: and usually Remus just wants to “talk about my actions and what i was thinking”

Draco: oh my god

Draco: you’re spoiled

Harry: i am not spoiled

Draco: do your dads hug you after you talk it out

Harry: maybe

Draco: you’re definitely spoiled

Harry: i’m not!

Harry: my dads just love me very much

Draco: little baby harry

Draco: and his little loving family

Harry: what’s wrong with that!

Draco: nothing

Draco: but it’s still funny

Harry: you are

Harry: the worst

Draco: i know

**9:52pm, Draco’s phone**

Group chat:  _ bad girls club _

Pansy: hellllllllloooooo

Draco: hi

Pansy: did u ask harry

[Draco sent a screenshot]

Draco: he can’t hang out this weekend he’s grounded

Pansy: oh damn it

Blaise: you can still hang out

Draco: ? do you not know what grounded means

Blaise: just sneak into his house

Pansy: omg like a little forbidden romance

Draco: i am done taking advice from you two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ronald Weasley is an overdramatic king and i love him for that


	6. eat it hermione

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is lowkey short but it's okay cause the next chapter is highkey long

**Thursday, 7:59am, Harry’s phone**

Group chat:  _ DadsRUs _

Harry: good morning dads!!!!!

Papa: Harry

Harry: yes Papa

Papa: School starts in literally 60 seconds

Papa: Put your phone away

Harry: but I wanted to wish my dads a good morning :((

Papa: Good morning

Papa: Now put your phone away

Dad: why are you in such a good mood puppy

Dad: you hate being up early

Harry: can’t i be excited to talk to my parents?

Papa: What have you done?

Harry: omg what?

Papa: You sound like you’ve done something wrong and now you’re trying to get out of it

Harry: okay i give up

Harry: Forgive me for trying to be a Loving Son

Dad: You’re forgiven

Papa: Put away your phone

**11:50am, Remus’ phone**

Remus: What are you doing for lunch today?

Love: haven’t decided yet, why?

Remus: Want to facetime me?

Remus: We can have a virtual lunch date

Love: Omg

Remus: Please stay calm

Love: You’re asking me out on a date???

Love: this is so romantic

Love: what am I going to wear??

Remus: You are so ridiculous

Love: should I do my hair?

Love: I can paint my nails?

Remus: On second thought, I’ll just ask Minerva

Love: No!!!

Love: I’m already looking forward to our date

Remus: I’ll call you in 10 minutes

Love: <3

_ 1 minute later _

Love: you have to do it back

Remus: You’re joking

Love: you have to do it back!

Remus: … 

Remus: <3

Love: I’m swooning

**1:50pm, Harry’s phone**

Unknown number: This is Cedric Diggory

Harry: hey! this is Harry Potter :)

Cedric: Awesome :)

**4:08pm, Harry’s phone**

Group chat:  _ Golden trio xxx _

[Harry added Ron to the chat]

Ron: So I was thinking

Hermione: Always dangerous

Ron: Since Harry is grounded this weekend

Ron: We should hang out tonight to make up for it

Harry: yes!

Hermione: Why do you only ever want to hang out the day before I have exams?

Ron: I live to inconvenience you

Hermione: I’m surprised you can spell inconvenience, considering how much you study

Harry: children of mine

Harry: no fighting in the house

Ron: Let’s go to the river!!

Hermione: What is with you guys and the river

Harry: it’s the best place to loiter

Ron: Would you rather go to the forest?

Hermione: No

Hermione: I would rather stay inside where it is warm and dry and not dangerous

Hermione: Why don’t we watch a movie or something?

Ron: You just want us to watch a movie so you can study during it

Hermione: Yes

Hermione: Harry if we watch a movie you could invite Draco to watch with us!

Harry: omg do you think he’d come

Ron: Wait wait wait no no no

Ron: This is golden trio hang out time

Ron: Not blond boy hang out time

Hermione: Blond boy has a name Ron

Harry: let’s watch a movie

Ron: Harry I won’t see you all weekend

Ron: you can’t choose draco over me :(

Harry: hm

Ron: :((((((

Harry: hmmmmmmm

Ron: :(((((((((((((((

Harry: fine

Harry: let’s go to the river

Ron: YES

Ron: Harry has spoken

Hermione: Fine Harry has spoken

Ron: Eat it Hermione

Hermione: I already gave in!

Ron: Eat it anyway

Hermione: You’re impossible

**5:02pm, Sirius’ phone**

Sirius: Hey Puppy

Pup: Daddyo

Sirius: Lmao

Sirius: how’s two weeks' detention treating you?

Pup: omg it’s so boring

Pup: binns just sleeps the whole time

Pup: and i’m the only person who’s here every day

Pup: i’m slowly going insane Dad

Sirius: Aw my poor puppy

Sirius: Well I’ve got some good news for you

Pup: omg

Pup: you’re buying me a car?!!!

Sirius: tragically no

Sirius: Papa said I’m not allowed to buy you a car until you get a license

Pup: :(

Sirius: I have to side with his logic on this one

Pup: so what’s the good news

Sirius: I thought since you’re grounded and have to spend the weekend home anyway

Sirius: I could teach you how to ride a motorcycle

Pup: OMG

Pup: DAD ARE YOU SERIOUS

Sirius: that is my name yes

Pup: DAD

Sirius: Lmao yes I’m serious

Pup: OMG

Sirius: do you want to learn how to ride a motorcycle?

Pup: YES YES YES

Pup: Dad i’m so excited thank you thank you thank you!!!

Sirius: No problem puppy

Sirius: At least now you’ll stop running bikes into trees

Pup: okay that was one time

Sirius: you could’ve died

Pup: but i didn’t

_ 12 minutes later _

Pup: wait

Pup: do i need a motorcycle license to ride a motorcycle?

Sirius: Um

Sirius: let’s just not tell Papa

Pup: lmao okay

Pup: but if we get caught

Sirius: Let me worry about that

Pup: okayyy

Pup: thanks Dad

Pup: I love you

Sirius: To the moon and back Puppy

**7:19pm, Harry’s phone**

Cedric: Hey Harry :)

Harry: hey Cedric :)

Harry: what’s up?

Cedric: Ive been thinking about our bio project

Harry: oh lmao

Harry: i haven’t thought about that at all

Cedric: I feel like it would probably be easiest if you just came over to my house this weekend to work on it

Cedric: Or I could come over to yours

Cedric: We could probably get it done in one afternoon

Harry: oh sure

Harry: i mean i would have to ask my dads

Harry: cause i’m supposed to be grounded this weekend,  so they might not want me going to anyone’s house or anything

Cedric: Cause of the Snape thing?

Harry: exactly

Cedric: Haha that makes sense

Cedric: Well talk to your dads and let me know what they say okay?

Harry: yup, can do

Cedric: Awesome :)

**10:12pm, Harry’s phone**

Harry: hey dragon

Draco: still

Draco: not my name

Harry: what are you doing little dragon

Draco: packing for the weekend

Harry: cute

Draco: cute?

Harry: yeah cute

Draco: how is that cute?

Harry: everything you do is cute

Draco: a;sdj;lk

_ 6 minutes later _

Harry: i haven’t heard from you all day

Harry: i missed you

Draco: lmao okay

Harry: say you missed me too

Draco: no

Harry: pleassssse

Draco: i

Draco: missed

Harry: yes??

Draco: Mr. Lupin

Harry: WhaT

Draco: i didn’t have his class today

Draco: so i missed him

Harry: What are you talking about

Harry: you barely know my dad

Draco: that’s not true

Draco: he’s one of my favorite teachers

Harry: he’s everyone’s favorite teacher

Draco: of course he is

Draco: he’s so sweet

Harry: what

Draco: and kind

Draco: and handsome

Harry: okay Stop

Draco: he is!

Draco: he’s so attractive

Harry: stop it that’s gross

Draco: and tall

Draco: and he has such muscular arms

Harry: eww draco he’s my father!!

Draco: could you get me his phone number?

[Harry blocked Draco Malfoy]

**11:34pm, Harry’s phone**

Unknown number: hey this is pansy parkinson, draco’s friend

Harry: hey! this is Harry Potter

Pansy: lmao i know

Pansy: draco asked me to ask you to unblock him

Harry: well tell draco to stop saying inappropriate things about my dad

Pansy: can you blame him

Harry: what?

Pansy: it’s not his fault mr lupin is hot

[Harry blocked Pansy Parkinson]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also thank you to everyone who has been leaving comments and kudos on this work--I try to respond to the comments because they make my day but I never know what to do or say except blush and say thank you!!!!


	7. poor mr lupin

**Friday, 7:45am, Remus’ phone**

Group chat:  _ DadsRUs _

Remus: Harry honey if your bag is packed come drop it off in my car, then we can leave as soon as you get out of detention

_ 5 minutes later _

Remus: Harry?

Love: he’s probably still sleeping

Remus: School starts in 10 minutes, he’s not still sleeping

_ 5 minutes later _

Cub: no i was still sleeping

Love: told you

Remus: Harry!

Cub: what’s up

Remus: You’re going to be late for class!

Cub: no worries Papa

Cub: i’ve got it down to a science

Cub: i wake up at 7:52, it takes 2 minutes to get dressed, 2 minutes to brush my teeth, and that leaves 4 minutes to get to class

Remus: What about breakfast?

Cub: Hermione gets me a muffin from the great hall and i eat in on the way to class

Remus: Oh my

Love: We’ve raised a genius

Remus: I would not call him that

**10:50am, Harry’s phone**

Cedric: Hey Harry

Cedric: Did you ask your parents about coming to my house this weekend yet?

Harry: oh shoot no i forgot

Harry: i’ll ask them today before bio

Cedric: Alright!

**11:09am, Draco’s phone**

Draco: guess what i got on the chem paper

Harry: well since snape loves you

Harry: i’m gonna go with an A

Draco: yup

Draco: and i didn’t get in trouble for taking cedric’s name off the paper

Harry: wait cedric diggory?

Draco: yeah why

Harry: he’s my partner for a bio project

Draco: lmao well good luck cause he’s lazy as hell

Harry: he doesn’t seem lazy, he wants to start working on it this weekend even though it’s not due for two weeks

Harry: maybe he just doesn’t like you

Draco: rude

Draco: everybody likes me

Harry: name one person

Draco: pansy

Draco: blaise

Draco: you

Harry: i hardly like you

Draco: why’d you unblock my number if you don’t like me?

Harry: i felt bad

Harry: i figured you have no one else to talk to

Draco: you know what

Draco: maybe i’ll block you

**11:12am, Draco’s phone**

Pansy: will u ever pay attention in class again

Pansy: or is texting harry ur only hobby now

Draco: i do other things besides text harry

Pansy: what? think about texting harry?

Draco: no

Draco: sometimes i text your father

Pansy: only texting? i get dinner with ur parents every night

Draco: i hate you

**12:02pm, Harry’s phone**

Group chat:  _ DadsRUs _

Harry: Papi

Papa: Papi?

Harry: Pops

Harry: Pappy

Papa: None of these are my name

Harry: Remus John

Papa: Absolutely not.

Harry: My favorite father in the whole wide world

Dad: hey!!!

Papa: I like that one

Dad: Harry James you take that back

Harry: i’m just kidding dad

Papa: It’s too late

Papa: I’m the favorite, there are no take backs

Dad: yes there are!

Harry: you’re both my favorite

Dad: good

Papa: Fine

Harry: i’m bringing my bag to the car now Papa

Harry: but i had a question

Papa: Yes?

Harry: i know i’m grounded this weekend

Papa: I feel like the answer to this question is going to be no

Harry: but i have a partner project for bio

Harry: and my partner wants me to go to his house this weekend to work on it 

Papa: Is your partner Ron?

Harry: no!

Dad: who’s the partner?

Harry: his name’s Cedric Diggory

Papa: And you want to go to Cedric’s house just to work on a project?

Harry: yes

Papa: Are you telling the truth?

Harry: omg Papa yes!!

Harry: when have I Ever lied to you?

Papa: When you snuck into Hogsmeade

Harry: okay that was only like two times

Papa: When you snuck out to go to the forest in the middle of the night

Harry: Fred and George dared me!

Dad: when you broke that vase next to the fireplace

Papa: You broke the vase next to the fireplace?!

Harry: okay that’s not the point

Papa: You said the cat knocked it over!

Harry: No, dad said the cat knocked it over

Harry: I just agreed with him

Papa: Sirius Black.

Dad: My last name is Lupin now actually

Papa: Not for long at this rate

Dad: Hey!

Harry: can we focus on the topic at hand

Harry: me

Harry: Can i go to cedric’s house?

Papa: What day?

Harry: um i don’t know

Harry: saturday?

Papa: I’ll ask Ms. Sprout if you actually have a biology project with Cedric, and if she says yes, you can go

Papa: But you’re only going to do homework, not to socialize!

Harry: yayayay

Harry: Thank you my favorite father in the world!!

Dad: Hey!!

**12:33pm, Harry’s phone**

Harry: good news!

Harry: my dads said i can go to your house on saturday!

Cedric: Great!

Cedric: Is there anything you want me to get before you come over?

Harry: what do you mean?

Cedric: Like snacks? Or I can order pizza if you want?

Harry: ohh haha no it’s alright i can just eat before i come over

Cedric: Do you want me to pick you up? I have a car

Harry: no it’s alright, my dad can drop me off

Cedric: If you’re sure

Harry: yeah, thanks for the offer though

**4:00pm, Harry’s phone**

Group chat:  _ Golden trio xxx _

Harry: have a smashing weekend friends!!!

Hermione: Smashing?

Harry: yes have a smashing weekend

Ron: What does smashing mean?

Harry: like good, awesome, great

Hermione: What century is that from?

Harry: omg

Harry: people say that now

Ron: pretty sure they don’t mate

Hermione: I’m confident they don’t

Harry: well fine then

Harry: have a totally boring weekend 

Ron: Thanks mate

Hermione: You too Harry!

Harry: :/

**4:02pm, Sirius’ phone**

Group chat:  _ DadsRUs _

Sirius: the time has come

Pup: ?

Sirius: my favorite time of the week

Sirius: My beautiful family is on their way home to me

Babe: No we’re not

Sirius: WHAT?

Babe: Harry has detention, remember?

Sirius: Omg

Sirius: Why am I being punished for Harry’s mistakes??

Pup: mistakes??

Pup: you said you were proud of me

Sirius: well I was proud of you

Sirius: but all I want to do is kiss my husband

Sirius: And now you’ve foiled my plans

Babe: Stop being dramatic

Babe: We’ll be home around seven and you can kiss us both then

Sirius: and what am I supposed to do until then??

Sirius: Waste away??

Sirius: Perish???

Babe: Kiss the cat

Pup: take a chill pill?

**4:07pm, Draco’s phone**

Father: Be home by 5.

Father: My boss will be joining us for dinner and you need to look presentable.

Draco: whatever.

**4:32pm, Draco’s phone**

Draco: how’s detention?

Harry: same old same old

Harry: how’s the train?

Draco: 2 fights broke out and one person got their arm stuck in a window

Draco: so same old same old

Harry: wow i’m so jealous

Harry: are you excited to see your parents?

Draco: i’m excited about my mom

Draco: could honestly care less about my dad 

Harry: aw

Harry: do you want to talk about it?

Draco: not really

Harry: okay

Draco: are you excited to see your dad?

Harry: yea

Harry: he said he would teach me how to ride bikes this weekend

Draco: you don’t know how to ride a bike?

Harry: lmao i mean bikes like motorcycles

Draco: oooh

Draco: isn’t that dangerous?

Harry: that’s what makes it fun

Draco: lmao sure

Draco: well don’t get hurt riding your bikes

Harry: aww are you worried about me?

Draco: no

Draco: but you’re annoying enough without crying about a broken arm on top of it

Harry: i wouldn’t cry

Harry: i would be very manly and put together

Draco: you said you cried when you saw marley and me

Harry: Everyone cried when they saw marley and me

Harry: it’s a heartbreaking film!!

Draco: i didn’t cry at marley and me

Harry: omg

Harry: who

Harry: ARE you

Draco: i don’t cry at films

Harry: have you no soul??

Draco: i don’t think films are sad

Harry: how

Harry: could you possibly think that

Draco: they’re not real!!

Draco: the dog didn’t actually die

Harry: he looked like he died!

Draco: i just didn’t think it was sad

Harry: i can’t believe this

Draco: did you think it was real?

Harry: we’ve been talking all week

Harry: we ate lunch together

Harry: i Gave you Half my fries

Draco: where is this going

Harry: and all this time

Harry: You’ve been a sociopath

Draco: you

Draco: are so dramatic

Harry: i get it from my dad

Draco: poor mr lupin

Harry: for real

**5:25pm, Harry’s phone**

Harry: okay Dad

Harry: We’re finally already on our way home to you

Dad: it’s too late

Dad: i’ve already perished

Harry: Papa said if you’ve already perished we can just turn around and go back to school then

Dad: No!!

Dad: Don’t you dare

Harry: Papa said then stop being dramatic

Dad: Papa knew I was dramatic when he married me

Harry: Papa said he thought you would grow out of it

Dad: that’s not true

Dad: we all knew I never would

**7:12pm, Sirius’ phone**

Group chat:  _ DadsRUs _

Sirius: How far are you guys?

Pup: look out the window

Sirius: OMG

Babe: Oh my god please don’t run in the house, you’ll break another vase

**9:14pm, Harry’s phone**

Draco: harry

Harry: that’s me

Draco: how’s life at home

Harry: good! Dad tried to make lasagna but forgot to set a timer, so it burnt to a crisp and set off the fire alarm

Harry: but Papa ordered a pizza and now we’re watching a movie

Draco: that’s cute

Harry: how’s life at your home

_ 12 minutes later _

Harry: draco?

Draco: sorry

Draco: it’s kinda shit

Harry: i’m sorry

Harry: what happened?

Draco: same old same old

Draco: i got in a fight with my father

Harry: oh damn

Harry: do you want to talk about it

Draco: no

Draco: he was just pissed cause he thought i wasn’t polite enough during dinner

Draco: then he started screaming cause he thinks i don’t try hard enough in school

Harry: oh no

Draco: and i told him he wouldn’t know anything about me or what i do at school

Draco: and he got even more pissed and said i was ungrateful and all kinds of other things

Harry: wow

Harry: i’m sorry draco

Draco: you don’t have to say sorry

Draco: it has nothing to do with you

Harry: i know

Harry: i’m still sorry

Harry: i hate thinking of you having to put up with that

Draco: it’s alright

Draco: i think i’m gonna try to go to pansy’s house tonight and spend all day saturday there or something so i don’t have to deal with him

Harry: hey!

Draco: ?

Harry: maybe i can ask my dads if you can come hang out here on sunday!

Draco: aren’t you grounded?

Harry: yeah why

Draco: so why would they let me come over?

Harry: wait

Harry: i thought grounded just meant you can’t leave the house

Draco: oh my god

Draco: when you’re grounded you’re not supposed leave the house

Draco: or hang out with friends

Draco: or use the computer or play video games or stuff like that

Harry: Whaaaat

Harry: that’s ridiculous there’s no way my dads would do that

Draco: lmao did you not even ask them what they meant by grounded?

Harry: i just thought i had to spend the whole weekend at home with them

Draco: you like your dads

Draco: how would that even be a punishment

Harry: it’s not

Harry: i was kinda excited to be honest

Draco: lmao

Draco: you should probably ask them what they meant by grounded

Harry: well now i don’t want to 

Harry: you’ve got me scared

Draco: oh don’t be a baby

Harry: i’m not a baby, i’m Harry

Draco: i’m sure your wonderful loving parents will still tuck you into bed and everything even if you’re grounded

Harry: yeah i know they will

Harry: but i don’t want to lose my video games

Draco: wait

Draco: do your dads seriously tuck you into bed?

Harry: yeah of course they do

Draco: WHAT

Harry: what??

Draco: how old ARE you???

Harry: 16

Harry: do your parents not tuck you in still?

Draco: of course they don’t!!

Draco: i told my mom to stop when i was like 7

Harry: well i would never tell my dads to stop

Harry: i love their attention

Draco: we are living opposite lives

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter will start to have something like ""plot"" and ""slight angst"" but don't worry cause i realized upon writing it that i hate plots and angst so i will clean it up real fast


	8. whatever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just so you're aware the titles of these chapters mean literally nothing i just pick one random word in the chapter and roll with it

**9:37pm, Sirius’ phone**

Group chat:  _ DadsRUs _

Sirius: Puppy stop texting

Sirius: pay attention to the movie

Pup: you’re texting right now

Sirius: I’m texting to tell you to stop texting

Babe: How about both of you stop texting?

Pup: if we stopped texting we would talk

Sirius: Yeah and then we wouldn’t hear the movie

Babe: You could try being quiet

Sirius: I most certainly could not

Pup: have you met Dad?

Pup: Papa i have a question

Sirius: how come you never come to me with questions?

Pup: cause Papa runs this house and we all know it

Babe: That is true

Pup: so i know i’m grounded 

Babe: That is also true

Pup: but what does grounded mean

Sirius: ?

Babe: What?

Babe: What do you mean?

Pup: you’ve never grounded me before

Pup: so what does it mean

Sirius: that can’t be true

Babe: Of course you’ve been grounded before

Pup: no i haven’t??

Sirius: you definitely have

Babe: Remember when you let Fred and George drive you around in a stolen car?

Pup: okay the car wasn’t really stolen cause it was Mr Weasley’s

Babe: The point is, you got grounded for that

Pup: no i didn’t??

Sirius: yes you did

Babe: I didn’t let you go to the Weasley’s house for two weeks, remember?

Pup: ooooh I do remember

Pup: but i didn’t realize i was grounded

Babe: How did you not realize?

Pup: cause i got to go to work with Dad

Babe: Sirius. 

Pup: and he brought me ice cream whenever i was there

Babe: Sirius. Black.

Sirius: I felt bad that he was grounded!

Pup: Papa i don’t think you actually said the word “grounded”

Pup: so how was i supposed to know

Babe: Well you would have known if your father weren’t such a pushover

Sirius: I thought two weeks was harsh!

Pup: Papa i also remember

Babe: Stop

Pup: during those two weeks

Babe: That’s enough.

Pup: you still let me go to the library with you whenever you went

Sirius: Remus!

Babe: That’s completely different

Pup: And you let me go out to get a popsicle whenever the ice cream truck came by

Sirius: Remus Lupin!

Babe: Reading is important, even if he is grounded

Sirius: are popsicles important?

Babe: I’m not listening to you, I’m watching a movie

**9:41pm, Draco’s phone**

Draco: can i come over? to spend the night?

Pansy: one sec let me ask my parents

Pansy: they said no

Draco: oh ok

Pansy: come over anyway

Pansy: i can sneak u in through the back door once they go to bed

Draco: lmao okay i’ll pack my bag

Draco: why didn’t they want me to come over

Pansy: theyre convinced we’re dating

Draco: LMAO

Draco: what???

Pansy: they think we’re secretly dating and every time i say we’re not they think im lying

Draco: lmaoooo do they not know i’m gay?

Pansy: nope

Pansy: i didnt tell them cause they talk to ur parents

Pansy: i didnt want them accidentally spilling

Draco: oh you’re right i didn’t think of that

Pansy: that’s why im the brains in this relationship love

Draco: you’re not the brains in this relationship

Pansy: ur right

Pansy: im also the looks

Draco: :/

**10:39pm, Draco’s phone**

Draco: i’m spending the night at pansy’s house

Mom: Okay sweetheart

Mom: I’m sorry about your father

Draco: whatever

Mom: He’s just stressed about work

Draco: he’s always stressed about work

Mom: Well his job is stressful

Draco: why do you always make excuses for him?

Mom: He’s still a good person

Draco: he does a good job hiding it

_ 7 minutes later _

Mom: do you want me to get snacks for the sleepover

Draco: it’s not a sleepover

Draco: we’re not little kids

Mom: I can make brownies for you to take to pansy

Mom: It’ll only take half an hour

_ 3 minutes later _

Draco: okay

**11:11pm, Harry’s phone**

Group chat:  _ DadsRUs _

Harry: Papa

Papa: Harry we just put you to bed

Papa: What’s going on?

Harry: you never told me what grounding entails

Papa: No hanging out with friends

Papa: No video games or soccer

Papa: And evidently no going to work with Dad

Dad: Whaaaaat

Harry: whaaaaat

Harry: does this mean i can’t ride bikes this weekend

Papa: WHAT

Dad: Harry!!!

Dad: that was supposed to be a secret!!

Harry: oops my bad

Papa: SIRIUS ORION BLACK

Dad: Lupin

Papa: WHERE ARE YOU

**11:13pm, Remus’ phone**

Remus: Sirius. Orion. Black.

Love: My last name is Lupin

Remus: Where. Are. You.

Love: Hiding from you

Remus: I cannot believe you!

Remus: Taking my baby to ride motorcycles!

Love: I haven’t taken him yet!

Love: I was gonna start teaching him this weekend

Love: and he’s 16, he’s hardly a baby

Remus: He is. My baby.

Love: He’s your baby right i’m sorry

Remus: You’re absolutely not teaching him 

Love: Remus be reasonable

Love: it’ll be fun, he’ll love it

Remus: It will be dangerous

Remus: He’ll get hurt, or killed 

Love: No he won’t, I’ll be right next to him

Remus: He’s supposed to be grounded.

Love: We’re clearly terrible at enforcing that

Love: let me teach Harry on Sunday

Love: he’ll love it

Love: he’s wanted to learn since he was a little kid

Remus: Absolutely not.

Love: He’ll have so much fun

Love: And he’ll be so happy you let him

_ 15 minutes later _

Remus: He wears a helmet at all times

Love: Of course!

Remus: And a leather jacket

Love: of course

Remus: And gloves

Love: Yes

Remus: And elbow pads and knee pads

Love: like the ones little kids wear?

Remus: Elbow pads. And knee pads. Or else.

Love: Right of course whatever you say darling

**11:25pm, Draco’s phone**

Mom: Have a good night at pansy’s sweetheart

Draco: thanks mom

Mom: I’ll talk to your father for you

Draco: don’t bother

**11:30pm, Harry’s phone**

Harry: goodnight dragon

Draco: my name isn’t dragon

Harry: say goodnight back

Draco: good night harry

Harry: <3

Draco: are you actually going to bed this early?

Harry: lmao unfortunately

Harry: i have to wake up before noon tomorrow to work on a project

Draco: aw poor little harry

Draco: having to do school work on a saturday

Harry: i know right?

Draco: lmao

Harry: i asked dads what being grounded means

Harry: they said i can’t have friends over 

Harry: but i can ask them if you can come over next weekend!

Draco: you don’t have to do that

Harry: i want to do that

Draco: why?

Harry: why what?

Draco: why do you want me to come over? 

Harry: lmao what do you mean

Harry: i like hanging out with you

Draco: hm

Harry: ?

Draco: nothing

_ 9 minutes later _

Harry: don’t you like hanging out with me?

Draco: yeah

Harry: then what’s the problem?

Draco: there is no problem

Harry: it sounds like there’s a problem

Harry: if something’s bothering you you can tell me

Harry: I’m not good at advice but i can listen

Draco: nothing’s wrong

Draco: just leave it

Draco: good night harry

_ 3 minutes later _

Harry: good night Draco


	9. i could be your crush crush crush crush crush

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like these chapter titles make less and less sense with each passing title and i'm just okay with that

**Saturday, 10:30am, Remus’ phone**

Grop chat: _DadsRUs_

Remus: Rise and shine Cubby

Cub: no thank you

Remus: Time to get up Harry

Love: I thought he was going to cedric’s at noon?

Remus: We all know it takes Harry an hour to get out of bed

Cub: not true

Remus: Then get up and prove me wrong

Cub: no thanks

**11:03am, Harry’s phone**

Harry: good morning

Draco: hey

Harry: are you in a better mood today?

Draco: yeah

Draco: sorry

Harry: there’s nothing to apologize for

Harry: do you want to talk about it?

Draco: no it’s fine

Draco: i was just being dramatic

Harry: to be fair

Harry: when are you ever not being dramatic

Draco: :/

Draco: why do i put up with you

Harry: because i’m so charming?

Draco: we must have different definitions of charming

Harry: hey!!!

**11:35am, Harry’s phone**

Harry: on my way over now

Cedric: Awesome! 

Cedric: I bought some chips and soda and stuff in case youre hungry

Harry: omg you didn’t have to do that

Harry: i told you i’d eat before i came

Cedric: Yeah but I wanted to 

Harry: lmao okay

**11:59am, Sirius’ phone**

Group chat: _DadsRUs_

Sirius: Have fun at cedric’s house Puppy

Sirius: wait sorry, Papa said “do not have fun, you’re grounded”

Pup: lmao okay i promise to not have fun

Sirius: Have fun

Sirius: (just don’t tell Papa)

_26 minutes later_

Babe: Sirius Black.

Sirius: how many times do I have to remind you

Sirius: My last name is Lupin

**3:33pm, Harry’s phone**

Group chat: _Golden trio xxx_

Harry: i’m having a dilemma of sorts

Ron: what’s going on?

Hermione: What’s wrong?

Harry: so you know how i’m at Cedric Diggory’s house for our bio project

Harry: I think Cedric’s trying to flirt with me

Ron: That’s a really interesting definition of dilemma

Harry: he bought all these candies 

Harry: and snacks

Ron: This actually sounds like the opposite of a dilemma

Harry: and I thought he was just being nice but he keeps trying to talk about things that aren’t our project

Ron: Isn’t every girl in school trying to get with cedric

Hermione: Ron.

Ron: Why is this a problem

Harry: i don’t want to get with cedric!!

Ron: Why not??

Ron: Cedric is handsome get with cedric

Hermione: Ron you idiot

Hermione: Harry has a crush on Draco, remember?

Harry: i don’t have a crush!

Ron: You don’t have a crush but you also don’t want to date cedric?

Harry: okay maybe i have a crush

Hermione: You definitely have a crush

Harry: he keeps scooting closer to me

Harry: and trying to touch my arm

Harry: what do i do

Ron: Omg is he making you uncomfortable?

Ron: Hold on I’ll get my dad’s car and come get you

Hermione: Ronald you don’t have a driver’s license!

Ron: So?

Hermione: So you’ll get killed. Or worse, arrested.

Ron: Worse?

Hermione: Harry, text your dads

Hermione: Tell them to call you and make up an excuse for why you have to come home early

Hermione: And then just wait for them to come get you

Harry: okay okay

Harry: Mione you’re a genius

Ron: And if cedric tries anything

Ron: Punch him

Hermione: Oh my gosh Cedric’s not going to try anything, he’s nice, he just has a little crush on Harry

Harry: omg i’m Not gonna punch anyone

Ron: Okay well let me know if cedric tries anything

Ron: And I’ll punch him

Hermione: You are so ridiculous

**3:42pm, Harry’s phone**

Group chat: _DadsRUs_

Harry: Can you do me a favor?

Dad: What’s up puppy

Harry: can you call me

Harry: And make up a reason i have to go home

Harry: And then come get me

Dad: ??

Papa: Harry what’s going on?

Harry: please can you just come get me?

Papa: Yes of course honey we’re on our way

**4:05pm, Harry’s phone**

Harry: sorry I had to leave early

Cedric: No dont be sorry!

Cedric: Family emergencies are family emergencies, it’s not your fault

Cedric: We can finish our project a different day

Harry: yeah

Harry: i feel like we can just finish it at school

Cedric: Sure if you want

Cedric: I really like spending time with you Harry

Harry: yeah i like spending time with you too

Harry: like as a friend

Cedric: Oh okay

Harry: is that okay?

Cedric: Yes of course! Im down to be friends

Harry: okay cool

Cedric: Cool :)

**4:36pm, Remus’ phone**

Remus: Is Harry napping?

Love: Yup just fell asleep

Love: it’s nice to know he thinks he’s too young to date too

Remus: That is not what he said 

Love: it was implied

Remus: No it wasn’t 

Love: Why would he turn down the cutest boy in the school otherwise?

Remus: Who told you Cedric was the cutest boy in the school?

Love: I have my sources for the Hogwarts gossip

Remus: I don’t even want to know

Love: good cause I’m not sharing my sources

Love: I’m going to kill that cedric though

Remus: No you are not

Love: Yes I am!

Love: he tried to defile my baby!

Remus: That’s not what happened

Love: that’s basically what happened

Remus: Your concept of reality is honestly so skewed

_2 minutes later_

Love: where are you?

Remus: Reading in the garden, want to join me?

Love: maybe for a minute

Love: if I come, can I sit on your face?

Remus: No.

Love: Can I sit in your lap?

Remus: … 

Remus: Maybe.

Love: Coming

**5:07pm, Draco’s phone**

Group chat: _bad girls club_

Blaise: isnt harry grounded?

Draco: yea why

Blaise: look at cedric diggory’s snapchat story

Pansy: oof

**5:24pm, Harry’s phone**

Group chat: _DadsRUs_

Harry: i’m awake now

Dad: Hey Puppy

Papa: How’re you feeling honey?

Harry: good

Harry: sorry i freaked out before

Papa: You’re fine

Dad: yeah, I’d freak out too if someone was coming on to me

Harry: yeah but you’re married

Dad: married or not, if you’re not interested in someone you’re not interested

Papa: Want to come sit in the garden with me?

Harry: no thanks i’m gonna stay in bed

Papa: Okay Cubby

Dad: Let us know if you need anything

_11 minutes later_

Harry: promise you won’t laugh

Papa: Of course not Harry

Dad: promise

Harry: I didn’t like cedric cause I have a crush on someone else

**5:36pm, Sirius’ phone**

Sirius: Omg

Babe: Why are you texting me individually?

Sirius: he has a crush

Sirius: he’s gonna want to date

Babe: Can you focus?

Sirius: He’s too young

**5:37pm, Remus’ phone**

Group chat: _DadsRUs_

Remus: Do you want to talk about your crush?

Cub: yeah

Cub: his name is Draco Malfoy

**5:38pm, Sirius’ phone**

Sirius: OMG

Sirius: I TOLD YOU

Sirius: LAST WEEK I TOLD YOU

Babe: Oh my god

Babe: Your son is sharing his feelings, can you focus!!

SIrius: I don’t want him dating a Malfoy!!!

Babe: Stop it!

Babe: Be supportive and don’t say anything stupid!

**5:38pm, Harry’s phone**

Group chat: _DadsRUs_

Harry: he’s really nice and funny 

Harry: we text a lot

Harry: I don’t know if he likes me back though

**5:39pm, Sirius’ phone**

Sirius: I don’t think Malfoys are capable of liking anyone back

Babe: Shut.

Babe: Up.

**5:39pm, Remus’ phone**

Group chat: _DadsRUs_

Remus: What kinds of things do you guys talk about?

Cub: anything really 

Cub: school, jokes, friends, whatever

Cub: sometimes i try to flirt with him and i can’t tell if he’s flirting back or not

Cub: sometimes it seems like it but sometimes he seems annoyed

Remus: Hmm well I was never very good at flirting

Remus: Your father would probably have better advice than me for that

_2 minutes later_

Cub: Dad?

**5:41pm, Remus’ phone**

Remus: Answer. Him.

Love: He’s too young to be flirting with anyone

Remus: Oh my god you’re ridiculous

Love: And I’m definitely not giving him advice for a Malfoy!!

Remus: Answer.

Remus: Him.

Love: you’ve met Lucius Malfoy!!

Love: You know he’s evil!!

Remus: Harry doesn’t have a crush on Lucius Malfoy

Love: oh god don’t put that picture in my head

Remus: Harry has a crush on Draco 

Love: He’s probably a carbon copy

Remus: Draco is a nice kid

Love: Oh so you admit he’s a kid 

Love: So too young to date

Love: Just like Harry

Remus: You’re actually ridiculous 

Remus: Answer Harry. Right now.

Remus: Or you will sleep on the couch for the next decade

Love: Ugh

Love: Ugh ugh ugh ugh

Love: fine

Remus: Thank you

**5:43pm, Sirius’ phone**

Group chat: _DadsRUs_

Sirius: Hi Puppy

Sirius: Flirting is cute and all, but probably the best thing to do is be straight forward

Sirius: Draco is probably confused about how you actually feel, so you should just come right out and tell him

Pup: so I should just tell him I want him to be my boyfriend?

Sirius: You’re too young to have a boyfriend

Babe: Sirius.

Pup: I’m 16

Sirius: That’s way too young

Babe: You and I started dating when we were 15

Sirius: That’s different, we’re soulmates

Pup: maybe Draco is my soulmate!!

Sirius: call an ambulance 

Babe: ?

Sirius: i think I’m having a heart attack

Babe: Oh for goodness sake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi friends, I wanted cedric to cause ~problems~ with harry and draco but I didn't actually want to make him bad/mean because the cursed child already did our hufflepuff king so dirty. I hope I did okay and didn't disrespect our boy Cedric


	10. that's so jacked

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why do i lowkey feel like this is more of a sirius/remus fic than a harry/draco fic

**Saturday, 7:03pm, Draco’s phone**

Draco: i’m on my way back

Mom: Okay love

Mom: I left a plate from dinner for you on the stove

Draco: i already ate at pansy’s 

Mom: I’ll put it in the fridge so you can have it tomorrow

Draco: lmao okay

Mom: I also talked to your father

Draco: i don't care

Mom: Draco.

Draco: i don’t want to talk about this

Mom: I think we should start going to family counseling

Draco: what?? why?

Mom: You two fight all the time and I don’t like it

Mom: In counseling you can talk about your feelings in a healthy way

Draco: do i have a choice

Mom: Not really sweetheart

Draco: ugh

Mom: Draco.

Draco: fine

**7:38pm, Draco’s phone**

Pansy: u sure u dont want to spend another night at my house?

Draco: yeah it’s alright

Draco: i don’t want to give your dad another heart attack when he walks in on me sleeping in your room

Pansy: aaaaaahahaha it was so funny though

Draco: aren’t you in trouble now?

Pansy: yea but it was still funny 

_ 2 minutes later _

Pansy: have u texted harry yet?

Draco: nah

Pansy: are you going to?

Draco: nah

Pansy: draco

Draco: i don’t feel like it

Draco: just drop it

**9:18pm, Harry’s phone**

Group chat:  _ DadsRUs _

Harry: okay i’ve built up the nerve

Harry: i’m gonna text Draco

Papa: Okay Cubby, good luck

Dad: keep in mind you are still too young to date

Harry: Dadddd

Papa: Ignore him

Papa: If you are going to date Draco though, we should have a talk

Harry: a talk??

Papa: The talk

Harry: Oh no

Dad: Lmao

Harry: no no no no no

Papa: Harry James

Harry: no thank you Papa

Papa: It’s important that you know what you’re getting into!

Harry: I do know!

Harry: you made me have the talk when i was 7

Harry: and 11

Harry: and 13

Papa: Well I didn’t want anything to catch you by surprise

Harry: I am tired of talks

Dad: But we’ve still got a whole bunch of stuff left to cover 

Dad: Like all the dangerous and deadly STDs you could catch if you’re not careful

Harry: ew ew ew no no no

Papa: Sirius hush

Papa: Harry the three of us are having a talk before you go back to school on Monday

Harry: do i really have to

Papa: Yes

Dad: do I have to?

Papa: Yes!

**9:21pm, Harry’s phone**

Harry: hey Draco

_ 10 minutes later _

Harry: heyyyyy Draco

_ 20 minutes later _

Harry: Draco pay attention to me i’m wasting away over here

_ 1 hour later _

Harry: Draco?

**11:02pm, Harry’s phone**

Harry: hey Pansy?

Pansy: hey harry

Harry: have you heard from Draco? he told me he was gonna spend the day at your house

Pansy: yea he did

Harry: is he still there?

Pansy: no he went home

Harry: oh okay

Harry: do you know if he’s okay?

Harry: he hasn’t answered any of my messages and usually he answers right away

Pansy: yea im p sure he’s fine

Pansy: he’s probably just busy or something

Harry: oh okay

**11:05pm, Draco’s phone**

Pansy: will u stop being a little bitch baby

Draco: rude

Pansy: and text harry

Draco: no

Pansy: he just texted me

Draco: what?

Draco: what did he say?

[Pansy sent a screenshot]

Pansy: he’s worried about you

Pansy: he doesnt know youre mad at him

Draco: i’m not mad at him

Pansy: then why arent u answering him?

Draco: i just don’t feel like it

Pansy: ur mad

Draco: i’m not!

Pansy: u always wanna pretend ur hard and nothing bothers u

Pansy: but ur not hard

Pansy: and shit does bother u

Pansy: and that’s not a personality flaw

Draco: shut up

Pansy: just tell harry how you feel

Pansy: and what’s bugging u 

Pansy: and then u can ride off into the sunset together on a horse or whatever romantic thing you wanna do

Draco: i didn’t come here for therapy

Pansy: well ur lucky my services are free

Pansy: text harry

Draco: ugh

Pansy: are u gonna text harry?

Draco: maybe

Pansy: that’s a yes

Draco: shut up

**11:31pm, Harry’s phone**

Harry: Dracooooo please answer me

Harry: i know you don’t go to bed early and i’m worried 

Draco: hey

Harry: dragon!!!

Draco: what did you want

Harry: ?

Harry: i wanted to talk to you

Harry: i haven’t heard from you in like 12 hours

Draco: yup

_ 5 minutes later _

Harry: how was Pansy’s house?

Draco: fun

Draco: how was cedric diggory

Harry: what?

Draco: how was

Draco: cedric diggory

Harry: i mean he was fine i guess??

Draco: so when’s the wedding

Harry: what?

Harry: what are you talking about?

Draco: i saw his snapchat story

Harry: ???

Draco: maybe you should tell your boyfriend to use a private story if you don’t want me to see next time

Harry: okay I literally have no idea what you’re talking about 

Harry: you were acting weird last night and you’re acting weird now

Draco: whatever

Harry: no not whatever!!

Harry: did I do something wrong?

_ 13 minutes later _

Draco: i just think it’s funny that you said you couldn’t have me over because you’re grounded

Draco: but you could spend the whole day snuggling with cedric diggory

Harry: What

Harry: i didn’t snuggle with anyone

Draco: i saw

Draco: his snapchat story

Harry: ??

Harry: send me his snapchat story

Draco: i’m not taking a screenshot!

Harry: well then how am i supposed to know what you’re talking about??

Draco: take a guess

**11:51pm, Harry’s phone**

Group chat:  _ Golden trio xxx _

Harry: does one of you have Cedric on snapchat

Ron: No why?

Hermione: I do, why?

Harry: can you tell me what’s on his snapchat story?

Hermione: One sec

Ron: Why do you want to know?

Harry: Draco’s acting weird

Harry: he said he’s upset because he saw cedric’s snapchat story or something

Hermione: Okay so

Hermione: The first picture was a table full of chips and candy with the caption “Got a date coming over”

Harry: oh no

Hermione: And the second one was a picture of you sitting across the table

Harry: oh no

Hermione: And Cedric had put a bunch of heart emojis around your face

Harry: ohhh nooo

Ron: You know I usually don’t side with blond boy

Ron: But I’d be upset too if I were him

Harry: uuuuughh why did this happen to me

Hermione: I’ll ask Cedric to take down the story?

Harry: yes please

Harry: thank you Mione

Harry: i’m gonna try to talk to Draco

Ron: Good luck mate

**11:58pm, Harry’s phone**

Harry: okay so i asked Hermione

Harry: i wasn’t on a date with Cedric today

Harry: we were just working on our biology project 

Harry: that was the only reason i was allowed to go to his house at all

Draco: sure

Harry: it’s true!!

Harry: i didn’t know he liked me like that

Harry: i wouldn’t have gone if i had known

Draco: right

Draco: cedric diggory is basically a celebrity at our school

Draco: but you don’t want to date him

Harry: I don’t

Draco: well i don’t believe you

Harry: why not? 

Draco: cause i don’t

Harry: I swear I’m telling the truth

Harry: I don’t care about cedric

Harry: I care about you though

Harry: like, a lot 

_ 10 minutes later _

Draco: whatever

**12:06am, Harry’s phone**

_ Group chat: DadsRUs _

Harry: Dads?

Harry: are you still up?

Dad: Yeah Puppy what’s up

Harry: i tried to talk to Draco

Papa: How’d it go?

Harry: I told him I care about him

Harry: and now he’s pissed at me

Harry: he thinks i’m lying and that i like Cedric

Harry: and he won’t listen to anything i say

Dad: oh Puppy

Papa: Oh honey I’m sorry

Harry: I don’t get it

Papa: Did he say why he thinks you're lying?

Harry: no

Harry: but he was acting weird yesterday too

Harry: i said i liked hanging out with him and he sounded like he didn’t believe me

Harry: everything was fine when we were at school and now that we’re home he’s angry at me

Dad: Well maybe it’s not about you

Harry: ?

Dad: Maybe he doesn’t like being home

Harry: yeah he said he fights with his dad a lot

Dad: that makes sense

Dad: Lucius malfoy is not a pleasant person

Papa: Sirius.

Harry: omg you know the Malfoys?

Dad: yeah, Narcissa is actually my cousin

Harry: omg WHAT

Dad: yeah

Harry: OMG

Harry: is Draco my cousin????

Papa: Harry you do know we’re not genetically related, right?

Harry: oh yea

Dad: You remember how I don’t get along with my family?

Harry: yeah

Dad: one of the million reasons is that they were really hard on me

Dad: my parents always made me feel like I was a failure and a disappointment

Harry: im sorry Dad

Dad: It’s alright Puppy, I stopped caring what they think a long time ago

Dad: but my point is, sometimes when you’re a teenager and you still live around that kind of judgement, it’s hard not to believe it

Dad: it can slip into your other relationships and make you feel like you’re a failure in them too

Dad: If Draco’s dad is anything like mine was, Draco might be upset because of the things he’s doing, not because of the things you’re doing

Dad: He might think you’re lying about caring about him because his own dad has him convinced no one would care about him

Harry: oh

Harry: that’s so jacked

Papa: Jacked?

Harry: jacked up

Harry: what should i tell Draco?

Dad: I would just give him some time Pup

Dad: he’ll probably feel better after sleeping and you can talk to him tomorrow

Harry: okay

Harry: thanks Dad

Papa: Wanna come sleep in our bed?

Harry: yes please

**12:46am, Remus’ phone**

Remus: Hey

Remus: Don’t talk

Remus: Harry’s asleep and he’s a light sleeper

Love: Lmao alright

Remus: I’m so impressed you managed to give rational advice for once

Remus: I thought you were just going to insult Lucius again, but you were actually reasonable

Love: what can I say, I’m a man of many talents

Remus: I know, I married you for them

Love: hkajsdf

Love: Remus Lupin I’m blushing

Remus: Pffft shut up

Remus: So is that why it took you so long to admit you liked me when we first started dating?

Love: Yeah basically

Love: i figured such a perfect person could never love me back, when even my parents hardly loved me

Remus: Well your parents are the dumbest people I’ve ever met

Love: dumber than me?

Remus: By a mile

Remus: I love you to the moon and back, Sirius Lupin. And I always will.

Love: Remus

Love: you’re such a romantic

Remus: Go to sleep

Love: yes sir

_ 15 minutes later _

Love: I love you too

Love: To the moon and back


	11. to the moon and back

**Sunday, 12pm, Harry’s phone**

Group chat: _DadsRUs_

Harry: goooooood morning dads

Papa: Good morning Cub

Harry: where’d you guys go?

Papa: I’m in the garden

Dad: I’m in the garage

Papa: There’s breakfast in the fridge if you want it

Harry: yay thank you

Dad: did you still want to ride bikes today?

Harry: i don’t know

Papa: It’s okay to say no

Dad: don’t listen to Remus, he wants you to say no

Papa: Motorcycles are dangerous!!

Dad: it’s up to you Puppy

Dad: but it’ll be funnnn

Papa: (And dangerous)

Harry: haha yeah okay

Dad: YES

Papa: Dang it

Dad: Meet me in the garage once you’ve eaten

**12:13pm, Harry’s phone**

Group chat: _DadsRUs_

Harry: wait

Harry: why are there little kiddie elbow pads on my bed

Papa: There should also be little kiddie knee pads on your bed

Harry: yes

Harry: why

Papa: You have to wear them

Harry: ??

Harry: Absolutely not

Papa: Then no motorcycles for you

Harry: Papa!!

Papa: Yes?

Harry: these are for little kids!

Papa: They should fit just fine

Papa: And they’re for safety

Harry: they are bright blue with yellow flames

Harry: I’m way too old for these!!

Dad: Harry love

Dad: you slept in your parents’ bed last night

Dad: so I don’t know if you’re a reliable judge for what you’re too old for

Papa: Lmao

Harry: :/

**12:25pm, Draco’s phone**

Mom: Be downstairs in 30 minutes

Draco: what?

Mom: We’re starting counseling, remember

Draco: today??

Draco: i thought you just meant eventually

Mom: Nope, I meant today

Mom: Be downstairs in 30 minutes

Draco: please don’t make me go

Mom: I’m sorry sweetheart

Mom: This is nonnegotiable 

**12:42pm, Sirius’ phone**

Sirius: with the elbow and knee pads

Sirius: Harry looks 5 years old again

Sirius: I feel like I should put him on a tricycle

Babe: Please take pictures

[Sirius sent a picture]

Babe: Oh my god

Babe: I think I’m gonna cry

[Sirius sent a picture]

Babe: I’m coming to the garage to see for myself

**4:04pm, Draco’s phone**

[Mom created a chat]

[Mom named the group chat _la_ _famille_ ]

Mom: Well I think that session went well

Father: It was interesting.

Mom: We’re going next week too

Father: Yes dear.

Draco: okay

**5:17pm, Harry’s phone**

Group chat: _Golden trio xxx_

Ron: Harry mate

Ron: How’d it go with blond boy?

Hermione: Yeah, did it go well?

Harry: define ‘well’

Hermione: Oh no

[Harry sent a screenshot]

Hermione: Oh No

Ron: Well it’s clear what the next step is

Harry: it is?

Hermione: It is?

Ron: Yes

Ron: Go back to cedric

Harry: :|

Hermione: Ronald!

Hermione: That is not how you solve problems

Ron: I don’t see why not

Harry: it’s alright

Harry: i’m just gonna wait for Draco to calm down and message me again

Hermione: That seems smart

Ron: You could wait for him in the arms of cedric

Hermione: Ron, one more word out of you and I kick you out of this chat again

Harry: i have good news though!!

Ron: What?

Harry: my dad taught me how to ride a motorcycle today!!

Ron: OMG WHAT

Ron: That’s so cool!!!

Hermione: Isn’t that kind of dangerous?

Ron: Yeah if by dangerous you mean cool

Harry: it was so awesome

Harry: look!!

[Harry sent a picture]

Harry: i need a license to ride one alone but he said i can keep practicing with him

Harry: and Papa was even okay with it mostly

Hermione: Harry

Hermione: Why are you wearing elbow pads and knee pads?

Ron: AHAHAHA Harry you look like a child

Harry: my dads made me! 

Harry: it was still cool!!

Ron: Those flames definitely read cool

Ron: can your dad teach me?

Harry: lmao i can ask

Ron: I'm so excited

Hermione: There’s no way Mrs. Weasley would ever let you

Ron: I wasn’t going to tell my mom

Hermione: Of course you weren’t

Hermione: Well that’s very cool Harry, even though I can’t imagine ever riding a motorcycle

Ron: Of course you can’t Mione, you’re boring

[Hermione removed Ron from the chat]

**9:22pm, Draco’s phone**

Pansy: how’d it go with harry?

Draco: well

Draco: you know

Pansy: draco malfoy

Pansy: how’d it go

[Draco sent a screenshot]

Pansy: u

Pansy: are so dumb

Draco: i know

Draco: but i was still mad at him yesterday!!

Pansy: he didn’t do anything wrong!

Draco: i know!!

Pansy: and he’s in love with u

Draco: shut up

Pansy: “i care about you though like a lot”

Pansy: u know what that means?

Draco: it means he cares about me

Pansy: it means

Pansy: he wants

Pansy: to marry you

Draco: he has a crush maybe

Pansy: he wants to marry you and you keep fucking it up

Pansy: so go talk to him and fix it

Pansy: because i want to be a bridesmaid

Draco: :/ 

Draco: you give me advice because you want to be a bridesmaid?

Draco: not just out of the kindness of your heart?

Pansy: there’s not that much kindness in my heart

**9:40pm, Draco’s phone**

Draco: hey

Harry: hey

Harry: how are you

Draco: alright

Draco: mom made us start going to “““family counseling””” today

Harry: lmao how did that go

Draco: it was weird but it was alright

_2 minutes later_

Draco: i wanted to say sorry

Draco: i was totally being ridiculous yesterday

Draco: and friday night too

Harry: it’s alright

Harry: i’m ridiculous half the time

Draco: lmao i know

Draco: you’re really not interested in cedric?

Harry: no

Harry: not at all

Harry: i’m interested in you

Draco: like in what way

Harry: lmao

Harry: like in a i want to date you way

Harry: like i want to get lunch with you every day, if you’ll let me

Draco: i don’t think ron’ll let you

Harry: lol he definitely won’t

Harry: why didn’t you believe me? when i told you i didn’t like cedric?

Draco: i don’t know

Draco: it’s dumb

Harry: i want to listen

Draco: it’s like

_3 minutes later_

Draco: it’s like my whole life it’s felt like i wasn’t good enough for my dad

Draco: and i figured i wasn’t good enough for you either

Harry: did i do something to make you feel that way?

Draco: no!!

Draco: it’s really got nothing to do with you

Draco: but it’s like everything he says, it sticks to me whether i want it to or not

Harry: oh

Draco: yea

Harry: so you have got a tragic backstory after all

Draco: lmao is that what you’re getting from this?

_2 minutes later_

Harry: wanna hear my tragic backstory?

Draco: i already know your tragic backstory, remember?

Draco: you told me your parents died

Harry: no i have another one

Draco: oh

Draco: sure

Harry: after my parents died, Sirius and Remus couldn’t adopt me right away

Harry: they had to fight to get custody, so I had to live with my mom’s sister and her family until i was almost 4

Harry: And they hated me

Draco: what? Why?

Harry: i have no clue

Harry: but they treated me like shit 

Harry: And even after my dads adopted me I was still scared that they wouldn’t really love me because of the things my aunt had said and done

Draco: oh Harry

Harry: and one day i told my dads i was still scared

Harry: and my papa said that the way people have treated you has nothing to do with who you are, and everything to do with who they are

Harry: does that make any sense?

Draco: yeah i think so

Harry: i love you draco

Harry: it doesn’t matter what your father’s said

Harry: you’re more than good enough for me

Draco: you love me?

Harry: lmao should i not have said that

Draco: no it’s alright

Draco: i think i love you too

Harry: okay cool

Draco: okay cool

_2 minutes later_

Draco: what did your other dad say?

Draco: like when you said you were still scared?

Harry: oh lmao

Harry: Sirius is usually way worse at advice than my papa

Harry: he just hugged me really tight and said that he loved me to the moon and back and that he would never stop loving me

Draco: that’s cute

Harry: lmao yeah

Harry: it’s like a running joke in our family now

Harry: when someone says ‘i love you’ someone else says ‘to the moon and back’

Draco: that is

Draco: so wholesome

Harry: thank you

Draco: i could honestly vomit

Harry: lmao

Harry: well i’m gonna start saying it to you

Draco: please don’t

Harry: so you might need to start carrying a bucket

Draco: ew ew

Harry: love you draco

Draco: don’t say it

Harry: to the moon

Draco: i’m starting to gag

Harry: and back

Draco: there goes my dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> harry and draco saying 'i love you' immediately followed by 'okay cool' is exactly the kind of emotional stuntedness i practice in my daily life
> 
> Also now the 'angst' is done and the last chapter will be nothing but memes
> 
> Thank you guys so much for reading and commenting and kudos'ing!!!


	12. good boys

**Monday, 4:30am, Harry’s phone**

Group chat:  _ DadsRUs _

Harry: good morning fathers!!!

Papa: You have never sounded so excited on a Monday morning

Harry: is it a crime to be excited to go back to school?

Dad: Um

Dad: Yes

Dad: you should not be excited to leave me

Papa: Don’t worry love, he’s just excited to see his boyfriend again

Dad: that’s even worse

Harry: i resent that statement

Harry: i am very dedicated to getting an education

Papa: Did you finish your homework for the day?

Harry: that’s not important

Papa: Harry James

Harry: i didn’t need to finish it!

Harry: i have a study hall!

Dad: you’d think with Lily for a mom and you for a dad he wouldn’t have ended up like this

Papa: Well, I had hoped

Harry: hey!!

**7:00am, Harry’s phone**

Harry: me and my dad are almost to school

Harry: wanna get breakfast in the great hall?

Draco: yes of course

Draco: 7:30?

Harry: see you then <3

**7:02am, Harry’s phone**

Pansy: harry potter

Harry: Pansy Parkinson

Pansy: i was reading draco’s phone over his shoulder

Pansy: im coming to breakfast too

Harry: lmao okay see you then too

Pansy: also cute heart emoji

Harry: a;lskdjf

**7:04am, Harry’s phone**

Pansy: harry potter

Harry: Pansy Parkinson

Pansy: no this is blaise zabini now

Pansy: and i’m joining breakfast too

Harry: lmao the more the merrier 

Pansy: good boy

**7:06am, Draco’s phone**

Draco: did blaise just call you good boy??

Harry: alskdf yes

Draco: omg i am so sorry

Harry: no it’s okay

Harry: but now my dad is asking why i’m laughing

Harry: and i don’t know what to say

Draco: oh god i don’t know what to tell you

Harry: i’m just gonna avoid the question

**7:25am, Sirius’ phone**

Group chat:  _ DadsRUs _

Sirius: have a wonderful week at school guys

Babe: Thank you love

Pup: have a good week at work Dad!!

Sirius: And have a good week in detention Puppy

Pup: :/

Pup: i take it back

Pup: do not have a good week

Sirius: Lmao

Babe: No take backs

**7:31am, Harry’s phone**

Group chat:  _ Golden trio xxx _

Ron: Harry James Potter Lupin Black

Ron: Or whatever his name is

Ron: Is a traitor once more

Hermione: Oh my

[Ron sent a picture]

Ron: This time he’s eating breakfast with blond boy

Hermione: Blond boy has a name, Ron

Ron: I’m in emotional turmoil I can’t be expected to remember a name

Harry: Ron you idiot come eat with us

Harry: i saved you both a seat

Ron: Omg you saved me a seat?

Harry: well both of you yes

Ron: Harry this is the nicest thing you’ve ever done for me

Hermione: That can’t be true

Harry: it’s definitely not

**8:14am, Draco’s phone**

Draco: did you like my friends?

Harry: omg yes they’re great

Harry: did you like mine?

Draco: they’re alright

Harry: just alright??

Draco: lmao i’m kidding

Draco: they’re cool

Harry: omg don’t do that

Harry: i thought i was gonna have to break up with you for a second

Draco: don’t be so dramatic

Harry: liking friends is a necessity

Draco: well i like your friends

Draco: hermione is so smart

Draco: like i have chem with her so i already knew but i also didn’t know

Harry: i’m not gonna tell her you said that for both our sakes

Draco: lmao alright

Harry: what about Ron?

Draco: i see why you’re soulmates

Draco: you’re both idiots

Harry: wow 

Harry: you know me so well

**8:51am, Harry’s phone**

Group chat:  _ Golden trio xxx _

Ron: Wait

Harry: what

Ron: Do we have a test next period??

Hermione: Yes

Harry: WHAT

Ron: WHAT

Hermione: How are you two always caught by surprise?

Ron: We had a test last week!!!

Hermione: I think that as the teacher, Mr. Binns can technically have a test whenever he wants

Harry: this is inhumane

Ron: Hermione

Ron: Please let me cheat off you

Hermione: Absolutely not

Ron: I’ll do anything

Hermione: Anything?

Ron: Anything at all

Hermione: Will you study for the next test?

Ron: Anything but that

[Hermione removed Ron from the chat]

Harry: lmao how many times are you going to do that

Hermione: As many times as it takes for him to learn his lesson

**9:50am, Harry’s phone**

Group chat:  _ Golden trio xxx _

[Harry added Ron to the chat]

Harry: i think i actually did pretty good on that test

Ron: You did?

Hermione: Omg Harry that’s great!

Harry: yeah, I knew the answers to “Name” and “Date”

Hermione: :|

Ron: HAHAHA

Ron: That’s better than me

Ron: All I got was “Name” 

Hermione: You’re both hopeless

**9:55am, Sirius’ phone**

Sirius: Wanna have another virtual lunch date today?

Babe: I have a meeting during lunch today

Sirius: oh damn it

Babe: But I have a free period at 11am

Babe: So if you want to have an early lunch

Sirius: Yes yes

Sirius: Of course I do

Babe: Lmao someone’s eager

Sirius: for you? Always

Babe: Pffft

Babe: Literally shut up

**10:23am, Harry’s phone**

Harry: you’d think snape would’ve gotten over me poisoning him by now

Harry: but he still looks murderous

Draco: so you admit you tried to poison him

Harry: yeah

Harry: saying i tried to poison a teacher sounds badass

Draco: what are you trying to sound badass for?

Harry: just for personal reasons

Draco: ??

Harry: well now that i know how to ride a motorcycle

Harry: i have an image to uphold

Draco: okay “know” is an exaggeration

Draco: you rode a motorcycle for one afternoon

Draco: and you still don’t have a license

Harry: my image doesn’t care about technicalities

**11:07am, Sirius’ phone**

Group chat:  _ DadsRUs _

Sirius: Harry I just realized

Babe: Don’t text Harry when he’s supposed to be in class

Pup: yeah?

Babe: Harry!

Babe: You’re supposed to be in class!

Pup: i am in class

Pup: i’m texting in class

Babe: You shouldn’t be texting in class!

Sirius: anyway Harry

Sirius: i realized

Sirius: Now that you have a boyfriend, we have to meet him

Pup: we?

Sirius: me and Papa

Babe: I’ve known Draco for 5 years

Sirius: Okay then me

Sirius: you should invite Draco to dinner this weekend

Pup: why do you want to meet him?

Sirius: Well

Sirius: I want to be involved in my son’s social life

Pup: Dad

Sirius: I also want to interrogate him

Babe: Sirius. 

Pup: Dad!

Sirius: I have to make sure his intentions are pure!

Pup: what does that even mean

Sirius: it doesn’t matter

Sirius: but he’s coming to dinner

Pup: I don’t like this

Babe: Neither do I, to be honest

**12:12pm, Remus’ phone**

Group chat:  _ DadsRUs _

Remus: Wait a second

Love: What happened to not texting Harry when he’s supposed to be in class?

Remus: Harry is at lunch

Cub: yup

Love: damn

Love: wait

Love: Remus aren’t you supposed to be in a meeting?

Remus: That’s not important

Cub: what happened to no texting in class?

Remus: A meeting isn’t a class

Remus: And I just remembered something important

Love: What?

Remus: We forgot to give Harry the talk

Cub: uuuuughhhhhh

Cub: i was hoping you wouldn’t remember

Remus: There’s no getting out of this Cubby

Love: How about you give Harry the talk this week at school?

Remus: You’re not getting out of this either, Sirius

Love: Uuuuuughhhhhh

Remus: You know, sometimes

Remus: It almost feels like I’m raising two kids

Cub: you are

Love: yeah you are

**1:42pm, Harry’s phone**

Harry: oh i forgot to mention at lunch

Harry: my dad wants to meet you

Draco: mr lupin??

Harry: no, Sirius

Draco: oh god

Draco: didn’t you say he was super protective

Harry: yea he is

Draco: omg

Draco: do you think he’s gonna like me

Harry: um

Harry: define “like”

Draco: omg

Harry: don’t worry

Harry: it doesn’t matter if he likes you

Harry: because i like you

Draco: while that is romantic

Draco: it doesn’t make me feel better

Harry: lmao

Harry: well i tried

_ 24 minutes later _

Harry: oh i do have some good news though

Draco: what it is?

Harry: i thought of another prank for snape

Draco: oh god

Draco: let’s hear it

Harry: okay so i’m not 100% sure how to go about doing it yet

Harry: but all i need are the keys to snape’s classroom

Draco: okay?

Harry: and a wild deer

Draco: i am putting my phone down

Draco: and pretending we never had this conversation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that is a wrap folks!!!
> 
> Again, thank you all so much for reading/commenting/kudos'ing this little work. It really warms my tiny heart
> 
> Also I think I will probably turn this into a series because I really enjoyed writing this (the next one wouldn't come out for at least a few weeks though, because I like waiting until I have a whole draft written before starting to post). If you have any ideas/plot lines/jokes you want to see in the next one, please let me know and I'll try to include them!!

**Author's Note:**

> Hi friends! I am making this story up as I go so if you have any suggestions for where you want it to go, or things you'd want to be included, let me know in the comments!


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